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Many thanks DH...to be honest reading all this through you can see how much people have tried to help. I did take your advice and have been working with the Police and a solicitor+union etc...having little or no experience of these sorts of matters meant that I needed someone to work through with me the mechanics. I understand that there will always be people who feel free to give their opinions bluntly, but I realise that I have learnt that so much about this sort of thing is context related, I will never ever judge someone so quickly, as I have in the past, again.