Kate's wedding shoes were too tight. Once in the bedroom, Wills helped them off. The family heard grunting, straining, a scream and Wills say, "That was tight."
The Queen said, "I told you she was a virgin."
Then they heard Wills say, "Now for the other one." There was more grunting and straining. At last Wills said, "My God. That was even tighter."
The Duke said, "That's my boy. Once a sailor, always a sailor." :-)