domestic abuse anh charge?

[laurisa]

ok so bassically me and my boyfriend had an argument and he got a little violent, he just shoved me at first and walked away but i followed him and he pinned me to the floor. i called the police because i was scared and he tried to leave but i wouldnt let him before the police showed up. so the scrap got a bit worse there was some hair pulling and shoving going on, then i said something to him that i knew i shouldnt and he hit me and bit my arm. the police showed up shortly after that and took him away, they took my statement and he had to go to court, he pleaded not guilty and now its going to trial. he's out on court bail at the moment but part of the conditions are that he cant come home. im all messed up now because i want him home, im not frightened of him he's never been violent before and im pretty confident he never would be again, our relationship has always been fine. i think the whole situation just got completly out of hand. i have since withdrawn my statement to the police and told them that i am not frightened and would like for him to come home or at least for me to be able to speak to him to sort this out, i have heard through a family friend that he would like to do this too. i cant pay the rent without him and am missing him dearly is there anything i can do about the bail condition?
i realize im going to get alot of people saying i am stupid and that if hes violent once he'll be violent again and a few weeks ago i probably would have agreed with you but this isn't the kind of situation where he believes he was right in doing this he is genuinly sorry and is seeking help. if anyone could give me some advice i would apreciate that greatly.
thanks.

[lala1984]

Well New judge it's been over a year and nothing has happened. I sought help with my issues which started the fights and we get on better than ever now.

[sara3]

he sounds like a right catch, lala.. I'm sure everything will be great if you never upset him again..

[lala1984]

Are we here to talk about MY life? NO. Just answering a question from someone else. If you read it properly I started the fight not him. I only wrote a small fraction of my relationship nothing else.

I really don't give a s**t what you all think I'm happy that's the main thing.

[sara3]

lucky you :o)

[lala1984]

Yeah I am aint i?

[sara3]

yes, you really are!

[lala1984]

What's the point in this childish banter? It's pathetic. I answered a persons question and this is what I get?

I'm HAPPY end of. I don't need to prove myself to anyone who has not got a life and idling their days away being stupid on a website (and being rude as well judging by old posts) so go back to watching Jeremy Kyle and claiming your JSA.

[sara3]

bless your heart, lala.. you couldn't be much further from the truth!

I'm sensing your anger/need to have the last work so I understand your first post more now.

have a lovely day :o)

[Mick-Talbot]

then Stop.

[lala1984]

Me have the last word ha ha ha

Avatar Image
sara3
yes, you really are!
06:42 Wed 25th May 2011

Other way round love. Like I said..... Pathetic.

[chris1957au]

don't give him the chance to do it twice, because he problely will

[ChuckFickens]

Quite agree Chris...

Little boys fight, men walk away.

[laurisa]

now theres no need to fight if lala is happy then lala is happy what i keep saying to my family is if everything goes tits up again then be there when it does dont just judge the whole way through making everyones life more difficult, maybe im too forgiving but everyone makes mistakes and in my case if i am willing to forgive and move on then its not fair for everyone else to be really judgemental because at the end of the day they may be trying to help but in reality they are not. lala im glad things worked out for you :)

[anneasquith]

you have forgiven you OH for his actions, thats your business, funny as it may seem womens aid may be able to assist you with advice, as your circumstances are sadly quite common.. good luck

[Jemisa]

In my opinion Laurisa the first bout of violence is his fault, if there's a second then its YOUR FAULT for staying.

Dump him NOW>

jem

[anneasquith]

jem......... leaving an abusive relationship isnt always as simple as some would think,

[hellywelly4]

I do find it hard to understand why so many women stay with men who have hit them (or worse). I know a lot of it is fear of being alone and probably a feeling of dependency, but I was married for 40 years and although we argued, my husband NEVER hit me, it wasn't in his nature. Have times changed, and is violence more acceptable? I do feel very sorry for those of you who have been in abusive relationships, and commend you for your courage in standing on your own feet. The abuse isn't your fault, whatever you think, it really isn't. Be brave, please. xx

[Jemisa]

No, I know anne and that is awful,so many mums with kids are stuck in this sort of situation too but a young single girl surely there's a way out. Fortunately I've never been in that situation and can only say what I would do. This situation for both parties has no future surely.

jem

[laurisa]

violence is not acceptable, but i do believe people have the capability to change and be better with the correct help. you cannot always judge a person on something that happened once (there are of course a few acceptions but i guees what those are is down to the individual person), if it is a continual thing then by all means judge away but no one can say they have never made a catastrophic mistake before.

[sara3]

I've made mistakes, but I don't think most people make catastrophic mistakes.