ChatterBank1 min ago
i dont know what to do, im being accused of harrassment
15 Answers
i really do need help and advice.
i got a phone call from the police saying they wanted to speak to me about an accusation of harrassment from my ex partners g/f and they wanted to come to my home and speak to me about it. this woman has been emailing me on and off and i do have a couple of abusive emails from her but i have choosen to ignore them but the last couple i have printed out and unfortuantley i did send one back to her as i was fed up with it which i regret but she has choosen to file a report. i am williing to speak to the police and he said he would come and speak to me but he didnt turn up and didnt even let me know. i phoned to find out where he was and he said he was sorry he was arresting someone and that he would get back in contact with me to come and see me at some point but ive heard nothing. i have spoken with a solictior and they said i can go to the police station and have my solicitor there and frankly i am worried now as im five weeks pregnant and i want this cleared up but nobody has got back in contact with me and i feel as ive been left hanging to worry and stress and im scared of losing my baby through the stress. can anyone help me. do i just leave it as i have made myself avaiable for interview or do i chase itup............please help me
i got a phone call from the police saying they wanted to speak to me about an accusation of harrassment from my ex partners g/f and they wanted to come to my home and speak to me about it. this woman has been emailing me on and off and i do have a couple of abusive emails from her but i have choosen to ignore them but the last couple i have printed out and unfortuantley i did send one back to her as i was fed up with it which i regret but she has choosen to file a report. i am williing to speak to the police and he said he would come and speak to me but he didnt turn up and didnt even let me know. i phoned to find out where he was and he said he was sorry he was arresting someone and that he would get back in contact with me to come and see me at some point but ive heard nothing. i have spoken with a solictior and they said i can go to the police station and have my solicitor there and frankly i am worried now as im five weeks pregnant and i want this cleared up but nobody has got back in contact with me and i feel as ive been left hanging to worry and stress and im scared of losing my baby through the stress. can anyone help me. do i just leave it as i have made myself avaiable for interview or do i chase itup............please help me
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Right, firstly, don't worry.
Secondly, if matters are exactly as you have laid out there is absolutely nothing to worry about.
If and only if the police turn up, show them her emails to you. They may try and give you a harassment warning (which is basically a note you sign saying you will not harrass her in future). You probably ought to take legal advice on this, but my view is that you should not sign it.
If you have had enough of the police, unless they decide to arrest you, you can ask them to leave. They must do so unless they have sufficient to arrest you. On what you have said, I don' think they have sufficient.
Personally, I should try and relax and try not to worry (easy for me to say, I know, but as someone who gets the police called round here for less than farting, I know how reasonable they can be).
Personally, I'd leave it now and NOT WORRY. If the police were that fussed, they'd have been round. I suspect they are not fussed because there is naff all in in.
Your baby is more important now.
Secondly, if matters are exactly as you have laid out there is absolutely nothing to worry about.
If and only if the police turn up, show them her emails to you. They may try and give you a harassment warning (which is basically a note you sign saying you will not harrass her in future). You probably ought to take legal advice on this, but my view is that you should not sign it.
If you have had enough of the police, unless they decide to arrest you, you can ask them to leave. They must do so unless they have sufficient to arrest you. On what you have said, I don' think they have sufficient.
Personally, I should try and relax and try not to worry (easy for me to say, I know, but as someone who gets the police called round here for less than farting, I know how reasonable they can be).
Personally, I'd leave it now and NOT WORRY. If the police were that fussed, they'd have been round. I suspect they are not fussed because there is naff all in in.
Your baby is more important now.
Firstly calm down.
It is not your job to chase it up. You are not obstructing the police in any way and you will be willing to make another appointment if you are contacted again. Don't be awkward but if the date or time is not convenient, say so and suggest alternative times.
In the meantime, make a very short timeline, showing what happened and when, just as a reminder to yourself. Just jot a few notes to make the relationship and history clear.
Above all else, don't worry! The police are obliged to follow up complaints they receive, it doesn't mean they believe you to be guilty of anything.
It is not your job to chase it up. You are not obstructing the police in any way and you will be willing to make another appointment if you are contacted again. Don't be awkward but if the date or time is not convenient, say so and suggest alternative times.
In the meantime, make a very short timeline, showing what happened and when, just as a reminder to yourself. Just jot a few notes to make the relationship and history clear.
Above all else, don't worry! The police are obliged to follow up complaints they receive, it doesn't mean they believe you to be guilty of anything.
Thankyou, i havnt obstructed them in any way, he just didnt turn up, and do i really need a solictor present? i am not saying i am completley innocent but i think i was goaded enough by this woman but now i want to be left alone as the stress isnt good for me and i am so worried they are going to put me in jail or something and i will be seperated from my baby which i couldnt bear. im so emotionally tired at the moment and fed up of all this
You don't need a solicitor.
Stop stressing!
I can understand this is worrying you, and it is a horrid thing, but the probability is if the police do turn up they will listen to your side of the story, advise you to either ignore any future correspondence from that woman or forward it to them, tell you not to contact her and that will be the end of it.
They will say the same to her.
Stop stressing!
I can understand this is worrying you, and it is a horrid thing, but the probability is if the police do turn up they will listen to your side of the story, advise you to either ignore any future correspondence from that woman or forward it to them, tell you not to contact her and that will be the end of it.
They will say the same to her.
Hello tinkerbell
Sorry for the delay. Basically, as Barmaid states, criminal harassment (Sec 2) requires at least two separate incidents (a course of conduct) which have caused alarm, harassment or distress etc in order to complete the offence in full.
If the police receive a complaint of harassment which is incomplete but the conduct itself fits the defintion of harassment then they will make early authoratitive intervention in order to deter any furure problems.
Now, different forces have different policies but commonly an officer will come and speak to you to listen to your version of events and view any physical evidence such as email / text communications etc and go from there. You will most likely get a warning and as mentioned may be asked to sign a form or a note book agreeing that you have (1) been warned and (2) it has been explained to you the conduct amounts to crim harassment and (3) if you continue you are liable to be prosecuted. This form is then filed and can be used in evidence if later prosecuted. (to knock out commonly used defences).
B
Sorry for the delay. Basically, as Barmaid states, criminal harassment (Sec 2) requires at least two separate incidents (a course of conduct) which have caused alarm, harassment or distress etc in order to complete the offence in full.
If the police receive a complaint of harassment which is incomplete but the conduct itself fits the defintion of harassment then they will make early authoratitive intervention in order to deter any furure problems.
Now, different forces have different policies but commonly an officer will come and speak to you to listen to your version of events and view any physical evidence such as email / text communications etc and go from there. You will most likely get a warning and as mentioned may be asked to sign a form or a note book agreeing that you have (1) been warned and (2) it has been explained to you the conduct amounts to crim harassment and (3) if you continue you are liable to be prosecuted. This form is then filed and can be used in evidence if later prosecuted. (to knock out commonly used defences).
B
So, await further contact from the officer, if they do come round, they will explain early on where this is going. You will have opportunity to show them the emails that you have received and hopefully that will be the end of it.
IF (a big IF), they want to formally interview you under Caution, then make arrangements for another date and request it be conducted at a police station and come back for advice or call your solicitor for advice. (even then, you are not going to see what a cell looks like)
For your info, the police receive 100's of similar complaints daily, most of which are absolute nonsense and gridlock them down, jeez, even police officers get complaints of harasment just for things like having arrested the same shop-lifter twice in a week.
All the best and no need to worry.
IF (a big IF), they want to formally interview you under Caution, then make arrangements for another date and request it be conducted at a police station and come back for advice or call your solicitor for advice. (even then, you are not going to see what a cell looks like)
For your info, the police receive 100's of similar complaints daily, most of which are absolute nonsense and gridlock them down, jeez, even police officers get complaints of harasment just for things like having arrested the same shop-lifter twice in a week.
All the best and no need to worry.
Sorry to jump in here as I may not have read this all properly, but why on earth would this 'lady' start police proceedings if she was the one who started with the abuse!
Have you seen the officer or when you rang him did you have to go through a main police switchboard?
I only ask as a friend of mine was on a similar situation and the 'officer' was a male friend of the person with the 'complaint'.....they had set the whole thing up as a joke [they claimed when the proverbial hit the fan]
I hope you get this sorted, there really are some strange people in this world :0/
Lisa x
Have you seen the officer or when you rang him did you have to go through a main police switchboard?
I only ask as a friend of mine was on a similar situation and the 'officer' was a male friend of the person with the 'complaint'.....they had set the whole thing up as a joke [they claimed when the proverbial hit the fan]
I hope you get this sorted, there really are some strange people in this world :0/
Lisa x
thanks for all your responses, no it was a proper policeman, the thing is with this woman is she is unstable and that is why i have choosen to ignore most of them but unfortuantely i had had enough of them and i sent one back which as she is unstable and the relationship between them hasnt worked out i suppose she is angry and even more unstable then she is now as she has had a history of cutting herself, sorry to mention that but i think its relevant to this. i still havnt heard anything and im not chasing it up as they know where i am and i have a couple of copies of the emails so they know where i am , im not going anywhere and i dont intend to run away...........i just want this to end for me to have a normal life without having all this worry
thanks again for all your input
thanks again for all your input
ok girls and boys, its me again, the lady who was going to have a visit from a police officer after her nutty ex boyfriends g/f tried to accuse her of harrassment. Well its been over five months now and i still havnt heard anything not a whisper......the problem is im planning to move house v soon so as stupid as it may seem where do i stand with this. this is probably stupid to ask but i was never charged with anything and he never got back to me. where do i stand now, do i have to let them know im moving house or what. totally confused now help
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