Neighbour Constantly Screaming And Swearing At Her Daughter...

[LincolnGrad123]

Me and my boyfriend just recently moved into a terraced house and our neighbour is forever shouting, screaming and swearing at what sounds to me like a 2/3 year old little girl. This morning she screamed at the absolute top of her lungs "FOR F***s SAKE ZOE" I've honestly never heard someone scream so hard. The little girl is crying almost all the time I know toddlers do cry a lot but this really is excessive. My boyfriend mum thinks its unusual how much she cries. I'd just like some advice on what to do. She's in the end of terrace house so if we were to report her or anything she'd obviously know it was us and she doesn't really sound like the kind of person you'd want to get on the wrong side of I know that might sound petty but we have to live next to her for however many years and you don't know what people can be like. I just can't stand people swearing around their children never mind at them. The way she talks to her is absolutely disgusting and me and my boyfriend are pretty sick of it. Has anyone else ever had a similar kind of experience? What did you do about it?

[Old_Geezer]

I guess you could report it to social services. Anyone could have heard the problem and reported it, would not obviously be you. And what's your alternatives ? Do nothing ? Remonstrate with the mother ?

Maybe the mother is under more stress than you realise. Perhaps outside advice may help.

As for it being disgusting to you, be aware that not everyone is of the same opinion. The issue isn't whether you find something distasteful but whether the child is being mistreated.

[whistonian]

I know it's a tough call LG,however something must be done and if the child is in any danger you might be sorry at a later date for doing nothing . I suggest your boyfriend has a very quite and polite chat with her explaining all that you have heard and that you don't want to take it any further.

[grasscarp]

Give a call to the NSPCC. They will look into it.

[MadMen]

I would normally say 'keep your nose out', but then if we all did that, possible child abuse may go unnoticed.
It may just be that the child has hit the 'terrible two's' and the mother cannot cope. In which case, she may need some help and support. Obviously there may be something more sinister going on, but you shouldn't really jump to conclusions.
Anyway, I think you should contact your local council, ask to speak to social services and say you have concerns over a child's welfare.
They will take as much detail as they can with you, over the phone, and will then send someone round to 'investigate'.
It'll be pretty clear (I would hope!) if the child is being mistreated, and I would imagine it would also be pretty clear if the child is well cared for (fed, clothed, clean etc) but perhaps the mother is struggling.

Either way, I think you should call them.


I

[ummmm]

My friend is a shouter although I've never heard her swearing at her kids. But, jeez, she is loud. She's a good mother though.

[MadMen]

My thinking is that it'll be a case of, like you say, 'shouty mother'.
Also, I was going to say, when my daughter was that age, she was a right little madam (she still is actually) and would scream the house down. Night times were the worst, trying to get her to go to bed, going through the whole 'controlled crying' thing was just awful! I even went round and knocked on my neighbours doors because I was so paranoid about what other people might think about this child screaming and crying all the time! This wasn't even a few weeks, it was more like six-12 months of it. Jeez... never again! :)

[daffy654]

Contact the NSPCC, you can make an anonymous report online. I had to do it once and they sent the police out within a couple of hours to check the child concerned. The child ended up being put on the 'at risk register' and the family were given a lot of help and advice on how to look after him.

[MadMen]

I contacted social services once, as I knew for a fact one of the mothers at my son's school was picking her child up drunk and then driving home.
It took me ages to pluck up the courage, and I felt absolutely awful for doing it, but other Mum's at the school had started to notice, so I was pretty confident I had my facts right and the kids were in possible danger.
I called SS and they wrote down everything i told them, and said they'd go round.
Seemed a bit silly to me, as I would have thought going to the school at collection time would have been a better bet, but they thought not.
Anyway, they went round there one afternoon (after informing her of their visit!!) and, surprise surprise, all was fine and mother was stone cold sober.

Shortly after she moved her kid to another school...

[grasscarp]

Like Daffy I called Nspcc once and there response was immediate and effective. I didn't actually phone I emailed on the early hours of the morning.

[bednobs]

if there is a child at risk, or even the possibility of a child at risk, then you must act.
Personally i think the NSPCC are your best bet and you can do it anonymously

[ummmm]

Wouldn't NSPCC just contact social services?

[grasscarp]

Not necessarily ummm. In my case they contacted the police.

[Jenarry]

This may be completely the wrong tack but I was wondering whether you could go round and introduce yourself as a newish neighbour and maybe offer a cuppa (and a friendly ear). this maybe a case of a mother with a lot on her plate,under a lot of stress and doesn't have anyone to talk to.

[fairycakes69]

Have you seen the child, does she look frightened or unhappy? Could be a mum who is going through a hard time and finding it hard to cope, the little one could be one who is in at everything. I was a shouter, and yes swore at the kids at times. They can wear you down and it is hard work. The mum may need a bit of help or a friend, like someone else has suggested pop round and see for yourself, before calling social services.

[lorla]

Yep, hubbie and i experienced exactly the same. We reported it to social services who said they would look into in but weren't allowed to let us know the outcome which i found odd....but for peace of mind i'd do it, you'd never forgive yourself if something happened to the little girl. Plus the mother might not be coping and you could be doing her a favour.

[daisymay]

Please don't ignore this. Constant crying in a child is a signal that there is something very wrong. Shouting at full volume to a small child can do immense harm and any adult that out of control is potentially dangerous and needs help. Contact the NSPCC at once - it isn't your job to act as a social worker, leave it to the professionals.

[lozzer50]

as you have posted on here you are obviously worried about the child so contact NSPCC as a lot of others have said. childrens safety is paramount there are too many stories in papers about bad things happening. just think of it as helping the child dont worry about repecussions