Weird Online Dating Situation ... What Do You Make Of This?

[joko]

A mate of mine does online dating and was telling me about another friend of hers (one i don't know) who has 'struck lucky' with a guy she met online.
she excitedly told me about how this bloke seems amazing and after one date bought her a brand new fancy phone because she had said hers was playing up and he said he didn't want to lose touch with her... (!)

my mate was all jealous etc, but to me that's a bit much, and actually kind of weird.
we talked generally and i said that seems like a control thing - she now sort of 'owes' him and cant very well just not see him again now.

i also said maybe he has bugged it ... i know there is easily available, secret spy software you can install in phones - so he can read her message listen to calls etc

her excitement began to fail obviously and even though she at first said i was just paranoid, she eventually began to be a bit suspect too.
i said, well there is a reason this software exists and people do do stuff like that, and even weirder stuff than bugging a phone, so its not that far fetched.

now if this bloke was rich and a new phone was buttons to him, i'd think maybe he was just generous and extravagant - but he lives at home with his mum, has no car, and just a normal job ... so its a bit much to spend 200-300 on a phone for a stranger...

what would you make of this?

I suggested she tell her mate to reset to factory settings to delete anything installed... just in case

cheers

[ummmm]

Honestly?

I think you sound paranoid.

[ll_billym]

I wouldn't say it's sinister, he just probably likes her and went a bit overboard with the phone but I do agree that there is probably some measure of a debt owed there so she will keep seeing him.

I should get her to treat it like it's a loan until she gets one herself. Unless she really likes him, if he is weird then it'll probably come out before too long!

[society]

How old is the guy? Maybe he's young and hormones are raging.

[flump1]

A tad late but the person given the phone should have not accepted it at this early time . I would give it back...quick !

[anneasquith]

sounds like a james bond film. :0

[MadMen]

Er... maybe he's just being nice?

[marje]

If I were her and wanted to stop seeing him I'd make sure I gave the 'phone back.

[joko]

i may be a bit paranoid i suppose, but i don't think its without some foundation

its fairly cheaply and easily available, and certainly not bond-esque.
theres hundreds of things available

http://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_sacat=0&_nkw=spy+phone+software&_sop=15

http://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_odkw=spy+phone+software&_sop=15&_osacat=0&_from=R40&_trksid=p2045573.m570.l1313.TR0.TRC0&_nkw=spy+phone+&_sacat=0


he could just be being nice, of course, but he only met her once, for a few hours ... its not like he's head over heels.

just seems a bit over the top

[anneasquith]

id say your friends/friend was odd for taking the phone from a virtual stranger.

[society]

It's always better to be safe than sorry.

[joko]

i suppose he could have nicked it, or just had it alreadyand didn't want it, but she said it was brand new and he said he'd bought it specially for her.

[anneasquith]

he sounds weird

[joko]

i agree anne - even though id have really wanted to keep the phone, id still have felt weird

though i guess at that point, as far as she is concerned, they are going to become a couple too, so perhaps she thought it was ok.

if shed taken it an had no intention of seeing him again, id think that was out of order.

[society]

She should return it if she is suspicious and feels uncomfortable. People always make the mistake of not following their gut instinct.

[EvianBaby]

I actually agree its totally weird to give a gift like that to someone you've met once. Unless its one he just happened to have lying around. I wouldn't have accepted it.

[magsmay]

Hand it back -it could be stolen -its an inappropriate gift to accept on a first date and could lead to all sorts of problems. I would avoid the guy as well -sounds a bit dodgy.

[joko]

i suppose he could just be naive and thinks he has to buy women fancy gifts in order the 'get' them, and hes been thoughtful with her saying her phone was having problems


although if someone said that their phone was playing up, you'd likely think its possible they may be going to fob you off with excuses especially in the circumstances of swapping numbers after a blind date - an he has made sure she cannot do that.

[society]

What has he done exactly to make sure she cannot swap numbers? I don't understand.

[joko]

no i meant, that in those circumstances, - a blind date - if your date claimed phone issues etc, you may wonder if they're are just making excuses as to why they are going to never return your calls

maybe he thought she was making excuses to ignore his messages

he has made sure that she will always receive his messages

[sherrardk]

I think it is creepy and a bit too needy, like he is trying to buy her affection.