Ideas For Small Wedding?

[pixie373]

My partner and I would like to get married, but neither of us like being the centre of attention. We both have slight anxiety on occasions, my bf, particularly, in social settings.
Neither of us are religious, or been married before, but we would still like a special day. We may ask my sister and his brother as witnesses and have our children there (as is traditional at one's wedding.lol)
Does anyone have any ideas for a stress-free wedding? Thought this might be a good place to start...
thank you x

[ummmm]

How many are you intending to invite?

[China Doll]

'Does anyone have any ideas for a stress-free wedding? '

Yes, don't invite anyone, go abroad and do it there so you can combine honeymoon. Come back and have a big party and invite everyone. That's what I'd do at any rate.

My sister is having a small wedding next year.... it is already too much hassle for me.

[ummmm]

I agree with China. Get married in a register office and fly off on honeymoon the next day.

[pixie373]

Going abroad has crossed my mind - if i could get him on a plane. Would probably invite as few as possible, but we do have a lot of close family and friends, so, yes,a party for everyone afterwards would be a great compromise, i think

[ummmm]

What about somewhere like Gretna-green if he doesn't like flying?

[hellywelly4]

My daughter got married in a registry office and then we paid for a small group to go for a buffet lunch in a local pub. She didn't want a fuss either.It was lovely, just close friends and family.

[China Doll]

You don't have to leave the country. Just registry office, don't tell anyone and then have a big party.

I choose to leave the country to be fully assured no one will accidently find out and turn up!

[pixie373]

Lol. Chinadoll. I don't want to upset anyone, but i think they know us well enough not to be surprised if we just quietly do it. I was wondering about a hotel. I believe some can do ceremonies? Do we literally just need to apply for a licence and then book something? Some of my friends have had to wait for banns to be read? They did have church wedding, so I don't know if that's why

[fairycakes69]

We never wanted a big wedding or a fuss, so went to Gretna green on valentines day, never told a soul. Very annoyed family, to be honest was bit of a let down. No one to share it with. Our mates didn't want a fuss but still the wedding dress, so took close family to registry office, wore full wedding gear and had a great party with lots of friends and family afterwards. Everyone was happy.

[pixie373]

Thanks for all your ideas. A few things to think about and will talk to my OH. I think the less build-up the better...

[Nodger]

Pixie - we had a very small wedding. Only family and very close friends at the actual ceremony. We invited all our other friends and work colleagues to a 'party' in a local pub afterwards, but they didn't know the reason till we got there.

Remember when you see the registrar to tell him/her that you don't want the banns posting (they don't have to be in all cases). That will prevent any possibility of well meaning friends finding out and scuppering your quiet plans

[Gavmacp]

On the stress issue. Try EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). You will find how to do it on YouTube.

[granny grump]

My friend is getting married next year in a registry office in Scarborough Both have been married before both have children After the wedding they are going on the North York Moors railway and find a B&B with 2 friends as witnessesall done and dusted

[sherrardk]

My dad is getting married again in the new year. They are just going to have two witnesses and they might have a party. I was quite surprised but what they do is their business (although I suspect my siblings feel very diffently about it ll). It's your day, do what you both want.

[pixie373]

Thank you all. I appreciate all the ideas. Quiet ceremony and then party might be the way to go. Am quite confused about what banns are for? And thanks, gavmac. I'll look that up x

[Gavmacp]

Pixie,
Would never recommend something if I did not think it had a reasonable chance of working! Would recommend finding a therapist but follow guide on YouTube and see. I didn't think it would work for me but it did.
Much love and I hope you have a lovely day! (without any anxiety!)

[pixie373]

That is very kind. Thank you x

[grasscarp]

They don't come much smaller than mine. We had a few friends and family at register office. To my sisters for cake and champagne. Then out to Italian restaurant. I bought my dress and flowers on the morning of the wedding. The photos were taken by a professional outside the register office who asked if he was needed. It was a lovely easy going day 34 years ago.

[pixie373]

Wow. 34 years ! That sounds perfect, grasscarp. I like to hear other people's experiences. And although we're not on the breadline, we are not rolling in it either. It would scare me to be in debt for the sake of one day. No matter how lovely.

[grasscarp]

Thank you. There are people who get married because they want a big wedding day and there are those who have a wedding because they want to be married.