Can A Father Who Is Running Late

[tinkerbell23]

From work nominate someone to collect his child from the mothers and mind them untill he arrives home?

[Mass_Hysteria]

with the mothers consent.....yes

[joko]

i assume so, but i would think it cannot just be a random mate, who happened to be on hand - they must be nominated in advance and agreed upon

[tinkerbell23]

She wont agree.

Would be gran or aunt etc. not random mate.

Thanks for advice

[excelsior-1]

good morning lovely tinkerbell, it's been a long long time

are you well?

[tinkerbell23]

Not bad thanks excels! You? X

[Mass_Hysteria]

If her mind is set then maybe Father needs to get out of work earlier. It's his child. I know I would and did.

[tinkerbell23]

Its shift work. Either that, or no job in this day and age. 9 x out of 10 he is on time- theres no set finish its a driving job its not always physically possible

[Mass_Hysteria]

You collect the child, sorry don't know the sex, if it's staying with you surely the mum won't have a problem?

[tinkerbell23]

I would. But she wont allow.
His sister would
Brother would
His mum
My mum

All good people. She wont allow. If he dosent shoe bang on time she keeps the child (he always phones and would say if running late and state time)

Way i see it aslong as child back at specified time for school should be no problem ..many of the above have passed extra checks etc for jobs no convictions etc no reason why we cant

Thanks for advice x

[Mass_Hysteria]

I understand Tinks, been there, there is no alternative than for him to be as squeaky clean as possible and not give her ANY reason to keep the child.
If he can prove his commitment and reliability (I'm sure he can) then she can have NO reason or proof to distrust him.

[joko]

well she cannot just keep the child surely.

perhaps he should start making the arrangements for pick up a bit later - that way he can be early but not late.

make up some reason why his hours are changing

[cassa333]

Well I think she is being unreasonable and difficult just to be an arse. These people aren't strangers they are his family and family to the children. Is she so bitter that she is blinkered to what is right? From what has been disclosed I would say YES.

Such a shame when one party is like this. It is reasonable for family members to help with child care from time to time and when parents split that help can sometimes be even more important.

Unless there are extrenous reasons why she is being like this, such as the family are druggies or violent or abusive etc tell her to get over herself and do the right thing for her child and let family help out.




So the father can't get there on time occationally. Tt happens with everyone from time to time and when that happens we make arrangements to pick the kids up.

[Old_Geezer]

I could have thought he could nominate who he liked. The difficult part might be persuading the responsible adult in charge (presumably the mother) to pass that responsibility and the child, over to some substitute carer.

[atalanta]

Time to see things from the child's point of view. If the child is looking forward to a visit to daddy's house, and is prevented from going, s/he will be disappointed, possibly to the point of tears. If this happens often, the child will probably resent the mother for causing this situation. I know it is only too likely that the mother may blame the father, but when the father does see the child, he can explain that this is not so. If the situation continues, and if there is any suggestion that the mother is turning the child against the father by blaming him for the lateness and therefore the cancellation of the visit, it might be time to call in a (divorce court's ? ) social worker.

[joko]

how late are we talking? hours or 5 - 10 mins?

[bednobs]

in the absense of a court order, i think it's perfectly in order for the mother to have absolute control over who she allows the child to go off with. Of course, it might be different if the child were 15

[tinkerbell23]

Lawyer app made.

She was making him leave his own party to drop the child off and went crazy when he let his brother take child instead.

Child is 50% his. Very unreasonable IMO :0)

Thanks for advice as usual!!

Ps say 45min late. As i said ideal world always on time- real world- should get child no matter what aslong as is dropped home in time! At least that way he dosent look like a "no show" and disappoint x

[sherrardk]

Everday work life then I agree. Not sure about the party though, might look like he was too busy enjoying himself to undertake his 'daddy duties' (in that he is responsible for his child regardless of if it's his party or not).

[tinkerbell23]

Leave your own engagement party in a hall? No reason in my opinion why he had to x