Court Date

[Smowball]

Have received date for court re my son still at his dads. ( I didnt apply to court - his dad has). Time is for 9.30 and I am about 3 hrs away so i emailed asing if they could change the time but they refused. Also the court is 3 hrs away too - by my ex, but I have always believed in childrens cases that they always chose the court nearest to where the child is registered as living, and seeing as he has only been at his dads for a matter of weeks i dont get why they havent chosen the court where I live and where my son has always lived?

[rockyracoon]

It's probably because he is at school there and will be less upheaval for him.

Smow, have you thought how your relationship with young smow might be if the court case swings and your favour and you bring him home against his wishes.

I really feel for you, there are no winners in these cirmumstances :(

[Smowball]

He wasnt at school when the papers were sent in and if you read them( ive been sent a copy) it does read as though he has just turned up there and only been there a few weeks. Im not going to force my son to come home, even if the court rules in my favour. It wont help. But it might make him thin twice about what he is doing. lets just say he is getting away with absolute murder at his dads at the moment and obv thinks he is having the best of both worlds, but if it carries on and his dad doesnt toughen up a bit then my son is going to end up with no education and no future, which is what i have said all along would happen if he stays at his dads.

[ummmm]

Smow - at your sons age the court will take his side, not yours or your ex.

Why is he taking you to court?

[ummmm]

Awww....there is no age limit to further education. He can go back to school anytime he wants. I know you're worried but this is a learning curve for him x

[rockyracoon]

That's sounds awful Smow so I don't blame you for using the courts. If he's missing too much school, perhaps ask the headteacher to write a letter for you to take to court.

[rockyracoon]

Did he come to stay with you over the half term?

[boxtops]

It's his dad who's raised the court case though, not smow - is that for the dad to get right of residency? Good that he's been going to school at his dad's, if nothing else.

[rockyracoon]

Doh, didn't read it properly, is he going for a residency order?

Maybe he needs the financial assistance that will come with official residency, child benefit and maintenance payments from you.

[Smowball]

Yes he has applied for full residency but even i can see that he is having second thoughts. Son did indeed come home for half term and everything was fine - in fact him and hubby got on just great, went bowling, out to eat etc. in fact the longer this goes on the more it loos as though its less to do with hubby and more to do with being told what to do and being disciplined. His dad admits he isnt disciplining him at all as he has never done it and doesnt want to start so son is doing what he likes.

[black_cat51]

i would have thought it's for the convenience of the child - despite the fact he is registered as living with you, he doesn't actually, and although it will be hard for you to get there for 9:30, if he had to get to you by 9:30 it would be harder for him. Plus he'd miss more school

[Smowball]

Son isnt going to court - just myself and his dad.

[black_cat51]

really? Aren't they going to ask his views? It's a pain but perhaps you could go the night before and stay in a hotel?

[Smowball]

Its only an initial 15 min hearing. CAFCASS are speaing to my son separately. It will be adjourned unless we agree 100% on the day x

[EcclesCake]

Thinking of you Smow.

[rockyracoon]

Good luck with it all Smow, let us know how you get on x

[Smowball]

Thanks x. Im working till very late the night beforehand so looks like a really early start!

[EDDIE51]

This is not going to be solved by a court, you and the child's Dad need to get it sorted out between you. No court can make him attend school or force his Dad to discipline him.

[lcg]

i really think you have to push the issue of lack of discipline in the court hearing. yes courts take into account the children's wishes, but they also take a dim view of permissive/liberal parenting approaches. stay calm, focused and start making lists/written details of all aspects of why your child should remain with you (previous schooling, discipline, dad's doubts etc.) and try to get evidence as best you can - from texts, emails etc. if written proof is nil. after all, you have done all the donkey work in raising your son - try to ensure that your ex does not swan off with all the glory for it. keep coming on here for advice, listen to your brief. we're all behind you! x

[cassa333]

Although I would be a bit miffed as you are it wouldn't matter where the court was if it were my son. Even if the roads were blocked with snow I would set out early and trudge through treakle to be at court early.