Marriage

[retrocop]

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
Or get married and wish you were dead.
__________

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
__________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
__________

When a woman steals your husband,
There is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
__________

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
__________


A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Asia
A man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
__________

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
__________

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
__________

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
__________

"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"

[EDDIE51]

Why does a woman need a man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn!