Stopping Fathers Girlfriend From Seeing Child.

[Xeronema]

Hey,

Does anyone know whether or not the mother of the child is allowed to stop the fathers girlfriend from seeing the child. The relationship broke down and now the father is with another woman.

I haven't got all the details just yet, my partner is on the phone to her friend (the mother of the child) as we speak. The interaction between this new woman and the child is a concern for the mother of the child.

Sorry if I'm not making much sense - I'm just going on what I have at the moment.

Cheers,
Stuart.

[Old_Geezer]

Unsure about law, but I'd suspect it'd be difficult to enforce when the child is old enough to spend time with her father. Might be better coming to terms with the situation early and not inflict the conflict on the child.

[Xeronema]

Thanks OG. I think the concern is that he is allowing his son to call her mum. He's only been going out with her for about 2 months. The child is 5 I think.

I'll apologise now for that opening title and comment. The grammar is terrible.

[Old_Geezer]

That seems unwise IMO. Bad enough having a succession of aunties, but a succession of 'other' mums ? 2 months seems quick to believe it's permanent. I guess if the mother is concerned she could explain that the woman with the child's father is simply calling herself mum, and that she (the genetic mother) is her real mum.

[EDDIE51]

The Father has a legal right of access to his child.There is nothing you can do about that. If the father is in another relationship (very common) and he brings his new partner with him to see his child I do not think there is anything legal anyone can do about it. You could probably object to the 'new partner' having access to the child without the father being present but not to the two of them seeing the child together. I can understand the 'Mum' bit, but again I can't see what legally you could do about it. This is a case for reasoned discussion between the adults involved. They have to come to a sensible compromise, an different 'name' for the new partner 'Auntie' possibly?
Legally the only way the new partner( or anyone ) could be prevented from contact with a child would be if they had been convicted of a serious case of child abuse which resulted in them being banned from contact with children.

[EDDIE51]

A child of 5 is old enough to understand the difference between his/her real Mum and the Fathers new partner. I have 12 grandchildren and the situation has arisen in my family, kids are a lot brighter than we give them credit for!
Carefully and gently explain the situation to the child and let them know that the other lady can be a kind and helpful person but is NOT their Mum.

[bednobs]

hi, i am rather on the mum's side - i think she has the right to know who is having contaact with her child. Im sure the mum could make things difficult, but why? what id it were the pothr way round?

[bednobs]

sorry stuart, i didnt't initially realise theis ws the law section. Please just ignore my post

[ummmm]

I would put my foot down about the child calling her mum and insist on using her name.

[RATTER15]

Legally, I don't think there is a lot you can do about it to be honest.

[tamborine]

As per Eddie but I feel it churlish to demand what the child calls the father's gf, so long as the child is happy.

[murraymints]

sounds like mother is a bit jealous..she really has to let go and accept the new situation, but any woman who lets a child call her mum..when that is not the case..is also being a bit of a point scorer if you know what I mean...

[Xeronema]

Right, I now have a better understanding of the situation.

I'm ashamed to say, I got the age of the child wrong, which is terrible because I was at his last birthday party. He's 2 not 5.

The father is using the fact that his ex is still in love with him. He was the one who cheated behind her back and he is blaming that on her mental health. She's a good mother and I'm not just saying that because she's our (me and my partners) friend. She does suffer from mental health issues but not to the extent that she is unable to maintain a relationship - she's is successfully bringing up a child whilst the father is at work.

This is my opinion, and only an opinion as I do not have children. The child is young and it's going to be confusing for him. Maybe she is jealous, I don't mind admitting that I would be jealous of his new relation, however I do not think that it is right for his father to tell his son to call this new woman, mum.

As he gets older, he'll understand, just like I did when I walked out of my own father. I'm concerned for my friend, what concerns me is that he is going to fight dirty and I honestly don't know if she can handle the stress. It's not going to be easy for me to tell her this and what makes it so much worse is that we're nearly 200 miles away from her (we're in Sheffield at the moment) and can't offer any support in person.

She threw his out of the house last night (he hasn't lived there for 2 months) and from what my partner has told me, she physically pushed him out the door. If she's not careful, she could end up losing custody, especially if she gets violent. He knows this and I do believe that he's setting her up, pulling her strings.

Apologies for the misinformation, not really a good start there. I was going to post it in CB however I decided against it. Thank you for all the replies, I'll keep you update. I have a feeling that this situation could turn really nasty.

Regards,
Stuart.

[Xeronema]

Glad I'm not an English teacher or proof reader, I'd be shot.

[EDDIE51]

I am afraid this is a very common situation. I understand as similar problems have happened in my own family. In fact we have a problem now. But there is no legal solution for such a situation.
If this were to go to court , not saying it will, the courts now have only one possible ruling, that is to do
'Whatever is in the best interest of the child'
that rule overrides all other factors and no other ruling is even possible!
It is up to the court and the CAFCASS representative to decide what those 'best interests' are in consultation with all the parties involved.

[Xeronema]

Hey. Quick update. I'm going to keep it short, as I'm in the car - using my mobile.

The father called social services with regards to her 'pushing him out of the door' when he refused to leave. He's being really vindictive.

Regards,

Stuart.