Collections At Funerals

[wiltsman]

I was speaking to someone this evening who told me that when a collection plate is taken by the funeral directors after a service, they take 10 per cent of the total as, I suppose, a sort of an administration charge.

The person I spoke to was a churchwarden, but I have a problem in believing what he was telling me. He was saying that the best way to give money to a chosen charity at the time of a funeral, was to send it direct to that charity.

What do you think?

[bednobs]

i dontthink its true

[mazie]

I've never been asked to donate to a collection plate at a funeral.

[EDDIE51]

I would not put anything past funeral directors, thieving *** the lot of them. Did you know they pay £30 at the most for a coffin and sell it for at least £700 , then they put 100% mark up on flowers even though they do nothing except order them from the florist.?
That's part of the reason I have bequeathed my body to Cambridge Medical School. No undertaker is getting a penny out of me! The medical school even pay for the death certificate!

[ducksie]

I've attended a few funerals recently, one was donations if desired and the other was just a floral gift or my attendance, but here the undertakers don't take a percentage for themselves, in saying that, my friend who was related to the deceased where a donation was asked for, I had decided not to put in the box as it was at the porch of the church and I didn't really like that side of town (don't trust the locals - in my minds eye I could imagine gurriers coming and nabbing the box while we are all inside) instead I go onto a website RIP.ie and there you can pay directly to the charity that the deceased would have been connected with before dying i.e Irish Cancer Society, Home Care team (Like Macmillan nurses) Heart foundation and the list goes on, I prefer give online - long answer cut short

[EDDIE51]

mazie, I have been to 3 funerals so far this year, all had collection plates and boxes. Don't think I have been to one that didn't have a collection.

[douglas9401]

I don't know what I'm going to do when our little ray of sunshine expires, I really don't.

Around these parts there's generally a collection arranged by the family for an organisation that has been particularly helpful in managing end of life or if not applicable, a charity supported by the deceased.

Nowt to do with undertakers or the venue.

[anneasquith]

You are going to some weird funerals Eddie ?

[Davemano]

Unfortunately I was at a funeral today where there was a collection plate with donations going to Dementia UK. When all parties had left the church I watched the FD take the plate into the back of the hearse. What happens after that I don't know, but there was a sizeable collection.

[mazie]

Well I haven't been to many Eddie, but no collection, or I didn't see it. Too upset probably. It's not a good time for anyone to ask for donations when you're so upset

[goodgoalie]

I think sending round a collection plate at a funeral is poor taste. It's never happened at any funeral I've been to, and I think I'd say something if someone pushed one towards me - charity donations should be a private matter.

[ducksie]

I agree gg, I've never had a plate handed to me at a funeral for a donation, it is a private matter and funerals are not the place to send the plate around - the donations I mentioned above is usually on family request that they don't want mourners investing in floral tributes and instead would like them to donate to the charity as a kind of thank you for helping them in their time of need - usually announced in days lead up to it as donations if desired and it's the family leave box in church and take it to give to the charity, you get a memory card after a time and receipt of how much was raised at that funeral for the charity.

[Cloverjo]

It does seem to be more common to see collection boxes at funerals, now.
It used to be the norm to send a cheque via the undertaker payable to the charity of the deceased's choice, in lieu of flowers if that was what the family wanted.

At my mum's, we had family flowers only and asked that people made a donation to the hospice that looked after her, if they wanted to contribute something.

[andres]

The collection plate at the funerals that I have attended has always been near the exit .I always put a cheque in so that it has to be paid to the chosen charity .

[Cloverjo]

It never occurred to me that the undertaker might take a cut from the cash raised as an admin charge. I hope it's not true.

[Davemano]

goodgoalie - the funeral I went to, and all others I have attended were not a collection as you describe, but a plate near the exit which you could disregard if you wished. The obituaries said family flowers only, but donations for xxxxxxxx can be made at the church.(something on those lines).

[Peter Pedant]

You should always give to the charity you want and not thro a middle man
when ever I see the service of 'oh we will pass it on'
I think automatically - service charge for which 5-10% isnt that bad actually
all the internet charity sites do this
it doesnt surprise me that funeral directors do

[queenofmean]

When my gran passed away we had a collection - we were given the money by the minister to bring home count up and donate to the charity.

[Davemano]

queenofmean That seems a more sensible way of dealing with it.

[wiltsman]

When I talked about a collection plate taken by the funeral directors after a service, I meant to imply a static plate normally placed in position near the exit of the building - not a plate passed among the congregation.

It was great to read your replies - some very interesting comments to take in, thank you.

[atalanta]

It seems now common to announce ( during the service or in the e-announcement or newspaper announcement of the funeral) that there will be a collection for some charity or benevolent fund. The simplest thing to do is to put a cheque into the plate, made out to the charity. That's what I do. Nobody can take a slice of that.