Something Mean/rude That Is Positive!

[SimenTBE]

Howdy, AnswerBanker!
Last time I posted something here I had a blast! So trying it again.

So today at the date of 21. November 2018- My girlfriend snapped me, telling me to say something mean to her as I've always been the positive happy person!

This is where you guys come in! I need something I could tell her which is mean BUT not in the hurtful way, something that basically is mean- though it is positive.

Every single suggestion is awesome! It has to be something that clearly is meant to be mean/rude and even though it clearly does sound mean/rude- It is in a way positive.

She will most likely hit me because I'm twisting what she wanted me to do, but there wasn't specified not using any form of loopholes for this!

Thanks a ton,
Simen

[MallyJ]

Just tell her that you are positively not going to buy her a present this christmas