ChatterBank1 min ago
Need Help With Asperger's Boyfriend.
6 Answers
Hi lovely people,
I need some advice for my Asperger's boyfriend. I'm starting to doubt if he actually has Asperger's, actually, because, when I ask him about it, he gets angry with me, and starts yelling. I wouldn't expect someone to get angry with me unless they were hiding something.
Anyway. Assuming he actually DOES have Asperger's:
I need help. He is constantly disrespecting my wishes and boundaries, and I've told him very clearly, multiple times, of what I can tolerate and what I can't. As some background, I'm coming from a few abusive relationships with men, where sexual and religious abuse and blackmail were involved. He knows about it.
He tells me to be "frank with him" because "he has Asperger's and needs to have things told clearly" to him, but then he completely ignores my stated boundaries when I am. I'm starting to believe he is just using his Asperger's as an excuse to be emotionally and otherwise selfish, saying sorry, then doing it all over again.
Please help. He wants to get married (LOL), but I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, and I often feel empty and constantly cheated. What should I do?
Thanks.
~ p3ptalk
I need some advice for my Asperger's boyfriend. I'm starting to doubt if he actually has Asperger's, actually, because, when I ask him about it, he gets angry with me, and starts yelling. I wouldn't expect someone to get angry with me unless they were hiding something.
Anyway. Assuming he actually DOES have Asperger's:
I need help. He is constantly disrespecting my wishes and boundaries, and I've told him very clearly, multiple times, of what I can tolerate and what I can't. As some background, I'm coming from a few abusive relationships with men, where sexual and religious abuse and blackmail were involved. He knows about it.
He tells me to be "frank with him" because "he has Asperger's and needs to have things told clearly" to him, but then he completely ignores my stated boundaries when I am. I'm starting to believe he is just using his Asperger's as an excuse to be emotionally and otherwise selfish, saying sorry, then doing it all over again.
Please help. He wants to get married (LOL), but I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, and I often feel empty and constantly cheated. What should I do?
Thanks.
~ p3ptalk
Answers
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by atravelbrit. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Hi, ok, this is two separate issues.
He may well have Aspergers. All of those are potential symptoms, and needing literal clues, is another. The question there, is who diagnosed him?
More importantly, whatever he does or doesn't have.... is actually not your problem or responsibility. You need to look after yourself. And for you, it doesn't actually matter if it is genuine or an excuse... you need to think honestly, if you are happy to live with this forever. No matter what the reason might be.
It seems... it is more than you should need to deal with, so, you really need to make some decisions here about what you want and need- without, worrying about why.
He may well have Aspergers. All of those are potential symptoms, and needing literal clues, is another. The question there, is who diagnosed him?
More importantly, whatever he does or doesn't have.... is actually not your problem or responsibility. You need to look after yourself. And for you, it doesn't actually matter if it is genuine or an excuse... you need to think honestly, if you are happy to live with this forever. No matter what the reason might be.
It seems... it is more than you should need to deal with, so, you really need to make some decisions here about what you want and need- without, worrying about why.
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