Help In English Please

[Fatemah]

Hello everyone. I hope you are doing great and you are all ready to celebrate Christmas. I'm writing you today to proofreading my email. When I was in Egpyt I bought health insurance from Germany as per university request, and they have to refund my few amounts. However they agreed to refund my amount and they took my bank details, I gave them my sister's bank account details but they did a mistake while transferring my amount. I wrote them many times but they have not answered any of my emails. Please anyone can proofread my email. Thanks in advance.

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I’m writing this email with my heavy heart that I am requesting for refund of my health insurance and I’m not getting any response from you. I have written many emails and they all were unanswered.
I’m writing you again today and request you to please refund my amount of 231 euros as soon as possible. I have provided all the information correct (my sister's bank details) but you have made a mistake and instead of writing my sister's name in the account title you wrote my name. this is the reason I got not get my amount. I have even written an email after this but again no response.
I request you to please refund my amount as soon as possible, this amount is worth for me a lot.
Thanks and regards,

[Buenchico]

I'd rather re-write the message as a whole than try to correct lots of individual errors that are in your own draft. Here's roughly what I'd say:

"Further to my previous emails (which have gone unanswered) I note that I have still not received the refund of my health insurance premium (€231.00), which was previously agreed by your company.

I acknowledge your initial attempt to make such a payment but that did not go through due to the payee name quoted by your company not matching the account details that I provided. I repeat my request for the payment to be made to MY SISTER'S ACCOUNT and NOT to my own account. (i.e. please ensure that MY SISTER'S NAME is quoted as being the payee).

The account details are as follows:
Name of payee: [Your sister's name, in CAPITALS]
Bank: [Name of bank]
SWIFT: [Bank's SWIFT code]
IBAN: [The IBAN for your sister's account]
Sort Code: [The sort code for your sister's account]
Account Number: [Your sister's account number]

I need this money urgently and I would therefore be most grateful if you could process this transaction as soon as possible.

Regards . . . "

[TheWinner]

Buenchico, is so polite. Go with whatever he says.