What to put on wedding invites if parents are divorced

[want2findout]

We're getting married in April of next year and have therefore made a start on the wedding invitations. The trouble is, my parents are divorced. Traditionally it was the father of the bride who would host the day. With divorced parents things get a little awkward! We would ideally love to pay for the wedding ourselves however we would need to save for the next ten years if that was to be the case. My parents and my fiance's parents have both kindly agreed to contribute to the big day and are putting in equal amounts. Traditionally when it was the brides parents hosting the day the invitates would read something like ' Mr and Mrs P' request the pleasure of the company of ? to attend the wedding of their daughter ? to ?'. Anyone else been in the same situation? What did you write on your invites?

Thanks :-)

[laurence2]

From what i gather you would still put both your parents down as requesting your pleasure of the company of ? to attend the wedding of their daughter? to ?

But in stead of not being able to show Mr & Mrs ? you revert back to mr {his original name} & Ms or Miss { your mums original name} request the company of etc etc

[suzy64]

My parents had both remarried and I put my dads name and my mums new name on mine :o)

[Pea Pod]

John and Want2findout request the pleasureof ??? and ??? at their wedding on the ??? of ???. Saves a lot of trouble.

[Eve]

Don't worry about tradition, why not just put their first names such as "john and jane request the pleasure of..."

[want2findout]

The thing is we don't want people thinking that the parents are all tight and not contributed a penny! But then again we could give them a mention on the order of service and thank them for their generous contributions. I'm inclined to agree and just put the invite from myself and my fiance. Another one of my friends who got married a few years ago and was in the same position as us simply put 'you are invited to the wedding of...'. That is also a good option as we are not naming anyone as the hosts?
It's a difficult one as we're sure to upset someone!

[Ms.Hijinx]

Traditionally for divorced parents you put Mr S Smith and Mrs T Smith request the pleasure of etc as opposed to Mr & Mrs S Smith request the pleasure of etc .Hope you have a lovely day x

[want2findout]

It's a tricky one as both sets of parents are contributing the same amount so it wouldn't be fair of us to put my parents as the hosts?

[laurence2]

i can't see where your coming from, it seems as if your trying to say, that anyone who contributes to your wedding can have there name on the invitation requesting the pleasure of ?

It is fair to put your parents as the host, at my wedding my mum & dad contributed big time, even tho on the invitations it was my wife to be's parents names, you can easily mention your boyfriends parents at the after dinner speeches, likewise for bridesmaids, pageboys, best man etc, i bet your boyfriends parents would'nt expect there names on the invitations, it dosen't come down to who contributes what, i feel your getting all worked up over nothing, sit down with your boyfriends parents and speak to them

[want2findout]

Laurence2, that is not what I am saying at all!

Traditionally the brides parents would host the day. We're moving away from tradition and would not expect my father to pay for everything. There are many ways of paying for the big day. More and more couples pay for the day themselves. They may get contributions from family members (which I would not expect to all be mentioned on invites Laurence2, no). In our case both sets of parents have agreed to go halves, with us putting in as much as poss for any extras.

I'm sure that we're not the only ones in this situation so I thought I would ask the question to AB members just to see what the general opinion was!

[kazza12345]

put "want2findout and miss want2findout and their families invite you to ...."

or t"he families of blah and blah request the pleasure ...."

[want2findout]

Thanks Kazza12345, that's a good option!