Unprotected Sex

[leecamowol]

Hi ya,

I'm 24 and bisexual but I've never been with a guy. After splitting up with my long term (also one and only) girlfriend a few months ago. I joined a few "dating" websites but despite enjoying sex I've always had this "it should only be between two people truly in love" attitude, never liked the whole sleep around type. However after chatting to a guy from one of site he seemed really nice (and said he's only just got over a long term relationship split and had the same attitude as me about sex) but very horny and last night I actually went round to his and we ended up having sex and a fantastic night but it really didn't dawn on me (stupidly!) until afterwards that we had unprotected sex! And since chatting to him tonight I've discovered he has been we at least one other guy since his split after a drunken night in a club. I have to admit I have got carried away as I'm quite a soppy person and I thought it meant me and him were together now but that doesn't neccesarily seem the case ... looks we are we are just chatting and seeing how we get on etc

I'm just very worried now that I've had unprotected gay sex ... is there anything I can do or if I have caught anything its too late?

I've really changed over the last few weeks, growing in confidence after finally getting over my ex as I would never have done what I did last night before. But now I've potentially made a life changing mistake!

Any advice appreciated!

[snagged]

Sorry if this sounds harsh but hopefully now you've realised what a fool you were... get down the clinic asap...

[unruliejulie]

You must get down to your local clinic and get any tests that you need. Yes, it was irresponsible but its done now so get yourself checked out and most importantly learn from this. Dont get carried away by the moment, always be safe! and i wish you all the very best, good luck

[Quizmonkey]

Both these answers are slight overreactions and may possibly border on homophobia. For goodness' sake don't panic. With one one-off encounter you would have to be extremely unlucky to pick up anything - assuming (and what an assumption!) of course that your partner had something to pass on. Get checked out at the GUM clinic by all means - but don't get into the mindset that sex equals disease. That's just sad - and pretty offensive when you think about it. Good luck and take care.

[unruliejulie]

The fact is, he needs his mind putting at rest and by getting checked out, he can achieve that! I am not being homophobic, borderline or any other, in the slightest and would have answered exactly the same to a hetrosexual man or woman who found themselves in the same position. He is worried, unprotected sex with a vitual stranger is dangerous. Where's the over reaction????? Oh and Quizmonkey, it only takes the once!

[snagged]

Quizmonkey... firstly he 'could' be 'very' unlucky and have possibly contracted something from this 'one off encounter'... and secondly... neither answer is 'bordering on the homophobic'... they are 'direct' responses to a 'potentially' serious situation... 'sugar coating' answers does not help anyone...

[leecamowol]

Thanks for your responses guys - and I know I'm stupid. On the brighter side it doesn't seem like it was a one-night stand or anything like that at the moment but I'm take your advice most definitely!

[snagged]

Hope it works out for you and that your visit to the clinic shows nothing worrying. Good luck!

[unruliejulie]

Good luck in your new relationship leecamowol. :-) all the very best.

[Quizmonkey]

Try reading my answer more carefully before you accuse me of 'sugar-coating' anything - and patronising me with 'it only takes the once' truisms. I'm actually a qualified counsellor on sexual and emotional matters so I do know what I'm talking about. My response was yes, go to the GUM clinic, but take a more balanced view of the situation, the odds etc, and don't get drawn into the scaremongering spread by the basically ignorant.

[unruliejulie]

How was giving someone advice to go to a clinic and get checked out after having unprotected sex with a virtual stranger scaremongering? That is good advice to anyone, i dont need to be a councellor to know that makes sense. I was annoyed at the homophobic comment and didnt see a need for that. and i dont think its basically ignorant to practice safe sex, at all times. The whole issue was about putting his mind at rest, complacency can be a dangerous thing.

[Quizmonkey]

For a start it's "basically ignorant" to even assume that such a thing as safe sex actually exists: it doesn't. Only SAFER sex. People ignorant of facts really shouldn't answer serious requests for advice and help.

Good sense IS what I was advocating: a balanced POV where you don't spend your life in Daily Mail-style fear that every person you meet is riddled with disease. Obviously if you do something you regret, or worry you've been exposed, you go to a GUM - that's what they're there for and that's what I said from the start.

[unruliejulie]

so i shouldnt answer requests for good advice then and you should!!!!!! I said the same as you, you are worried, go get it checked, and in future be careful! what is your problem with that????? and for your added information, i dont read the daily mail!!!!!!