Resadency

[chevy]

I had a baby when i was 18 but thought i was to imature to look afta her so i left her wid my mum. A few months later my partner commited suicide so i decided it was best for her if my mum had a resadency order. My mum always said she would give my daughter back to me when i was ready. I have asked but she keeps saying no. What are my rights?

[bednobs]

sorry, i dont know the legal answer but i would just point out that it is not a question of "giving her back" She is not a possession to be passed around is she?
have you seen your daughter while she has been living with your mum? What has ead to believe you are ready now?
Anyway, you will probably be in a good position as you are her mum, especially if you have carried on contact, rather than just "dumping" her with your mum

[fairkatrina]

If you maintained contact with her throughout the time your mother was caring for her, and could prove that you were capable of raising the child by yourself, then you should have no problem getting her back. However, your mother also has good grounds to fight you for your daughter, as she has been her sole caregiver. Sometimes birth parents do lose custody in these cases, so I'd try and sort it would with my mother if I were you. Sit down with her and discuss why she is unprepared to give you your daughter back; if she genuinely feels that you're not ready to look after her full-time then don't fly off the handle, instead consider her argument, because maybe she's right, but if she just wants to keep her because she's grown attached to her then explain that she'll still be a huge part of your daughter's life, but as her grandmother not as her mother. It may be best for you to have partial custody at first, as that way you'll learn to cope with a young child, and your mother won't feel so neglected. I hope you find a solution that's best for all three of you!

[Stu Dent]

The residency order will be granted in the interests of the child. No one and nothing else will overcome that. In the eyes of the Court, the perceived rights of the parent and or grandparent are insignificant in comparison to those of the child. Parents and grandparents in effect have no rights. The law is child centred.

[Stu Dent]

I'm sorry, Chevy. I'd like to add that, although you may feel that you are 'ready' to have your child back, it might not be best for the child. I was worried that my previous answer may have sounded a bit sanctimonious and it wasn't intedned to be so. But it was intended to be honest, and that means that I stand by it.

You must prove that a residency order in your favour is in the interests of the child, not you. It is the child's rights that are paramount. I hope you all find a solution that is best for your child. And I hope that what is best for your child involves you in some capacity.