Helen Newlove?

[Drisgirl]

O -I so know I am going to be castigated for this and its not meant in a mean spirit BUT I can understand if she was merely campaigning for tighter controls.

What I dont understand is why her grief and loss is more profound than others who have lost loved ones in similar circumstances.

I feel another 'Stephen Lawrence' moment coming on.

Anyone else feel this way?

[Postdog]

I don't think it's that at all. Obviously her grief etc, IS more than someone on the outside looking in, and I don't think it's a question of being greater than others in similar circumstances, just more recent and topical. Personally, I wish this would be the straw that broke the camels back and brought back a real deterrent to the scum around now. As a law abiding (in the main) citizen, I feel I have more right to be around than them, and the right to live my life how I want providing I hurt no-one else.

[Drisgirl]

That is what I was really alluding to Postdog -I am not disputing her grief -she is a broken woman -my heart goes out to her and her family -but it does detract IMO from others who have lost their loved ones by heinuius crimes.I often think that capaigning is best done when the raw emotion has subsided to a certain extent.Although some may see it as the best time for her to open up-as we are seeing the true devastion this causes.

What I was meaning really was -are all crimes like this always going to be referred back to Garry Newlove - this is where I would feel that it detracts from the hundreds of others who have been murdered.

Same with Stephen Lawrence -an absolute tragedy but that became the focus on racially morivated murders.

As with Sarah Payne.

I just feel that its unfair to highlight dreadful things which happen by just using one name as the catalyst for calls to change the law.It somehow IMO makes the other losses of lives appear lesser

I have to go out in case anyone thinks I am abandoning this thread.

[sandyg2244]

If I had lost a loved one in horrible circumstances like this, campaigning would help me battle my grief and aim to ensure that no other would suffer the same fate.I wouldnt feel my grief was more than other victims, far from it.You obviously lack that basic feeling of empathy to even suggest something so absurd?

[sandyg2244]

p.s. when the emotion has subsided??? what a strange and cold statement.Have you ever lost a loved one in such brutal circumstances?In fact, have you ever lost a loved one?An old saying you should heed: never judge a man unless you have walked in his shoes.

[Lucy Thomas]

I lost my son when he was six years old in an accident. Believe me, the pain NEVER subsides. That was fourteen years ago and not a day goes by without me thinking what he would be doing if he were still here.

If I had lost him as the result of feral drunken scum attacking him, my anger would be insurmountable and I would move Heaven and Earth to ensure that nobody else had to endure that pain.

So your statement 'when the raw emotion has subsided' is both offensive and wildly inaccurate.

[Drisgirl]

O dear -I am sorry -it didnt come across at all like it was meant to but please see this link:

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion448565.html

I am only posting that link so you know I am not callous or cold hearted.I can empathise.
I knew what I was trying to say but for once it just didnt come out right -it was more I suppose about the media jumping on someones misery to give them headlines and whip up a bit of a frenzy -I wasnt being disrespectful to that poor woman -I just felt she was being used at a vulnerable time in her life.Sorry peeps.

Apologies and just leave

[Gromit]

When the victim is middle class (not some chav stabbed outside the pub) then the bereaved tend to be more articulate and get their message across to to holy Daily Mail readership very efficiently. It is very off putting when the spouse/relative of a victim of a crime decide to go on a crusade in their memory. I tend to view with sympathy but my silent thoughts are saying 'Shut up'.

[Drisgirl]

Think that is what I was trying to say Gromit -I was just trying to choose my words carefully so as not to cause to distress to anyone but I think I erred too much on the side of caution.

Well I got it all guns blazing but I do hope that people who posted cruelly about me tonight will take time just to read my link -not comment on it -as a family we too are enduring on a daily basis what this lady is -but we arent baying for blood and we have specifically asked for no details about her.We do have a trial pending though -another ordeal for our children.As a family -we prefer to remain dignified in our grief.

[ludwig]

I think those of us who haven't had to witness a loved one kicked to death in front of us aren't really in a position to really know what she is or isn't feeling or pass judgement on what she should or shouldn't be saying.
I reserve my criticism for the murderers in these cases, not the bereaved.

[LoftyLottie]

Drisgirl, it is a shame that people can get so personal on here without knowing anything about you or your circumstances. Don't they realise how much this can hurt? I, like Gromit, can actually can see where you are coming from on this.

I can fully understand how Helen Newlove feels at present. I would feel the same. However, I don't think I could tolerate media involvement at such a terrible time.

[Doc Spock]

She should shout out her grief and anger from the rooftops and go on a world tour.

Then the @rseholes who run our judicial system might take notice and realise that the death penalty in such circumstances is entirely necessary.

It is time scum like this were put to sleep.

They will be out in 5 years and no doubt kill again.


Where is Charles Bronson (deathwish) when you need him.

[Drisgirl]

Thank you Lottie -I was a victim of an unneccessary attack despite my circumstances being known.x

I just felt that she was baing maninipulated by the media and basically playing straight into their hands I feel the time to campaign is when the dust has settled -and yes the rage does go away-and then be pro-active with a clear head..The reason I felt the way I did was that in the ensuing days I would have ripped that woman to shreds for killing their dad and the way their path was going to be altered but luckily we all managed to calm down and concentrated on what we had to endure.We did have media intrusion to a smaller degree but each and every paper and news station were politely turned away.So I do speak from experience but didnt feel I had to justify it on here.
I really didnt want to highlight my ongoing trauma but I did get very nasty insults slung at me by sandy which were way below the belt.I'm very sorry for your loss Lucy.

Its not about me anyway-it never was going to be -I thought it could have been a healthy discussion -not an opportunity to be vindictive and personal.

[Drisgirl]

What if you dont agree with the Death Penalty then?

She said she would happily press the button or whatever it took -then she would then be perpetuating another families grief -you see you could go on and on - she is wearing her heart on her sleeve just now and the media are loving it.

In the cold light of day -she wouldnt do that if she thought through the ramifications.

The scumbags have families too -and before anyone says they are scum as well -you dont know that -we cant all be responsible for our childrens actions -can we?

So she would quite happily cause them the same grief she is enduring? I think not -this is a knee jerk reaction and if no-one can see that she is being manipulated and used as fodder by the media -then they are blinkered.They are ruthless -they just see her as good copy -or a good headline on News at Ten.I feel she has been ill advised -she should have waited until she was ready to do it -they have caught her at her most vulnerable -and she is a mere puppet at the moment.

I do feel so much for this woman -despite what most of you think -or else I wouldnt have put my head above the parapet for the pot shots.

[Doc Spock]

Hi Drisgirl.


" what if you don't agree with death penalty"

tuff titty.

I dont agree with wearing a seat belt but we live in a democracy.

There are unnecessary murders every day because we live in a hideous society.

Why do you think there would never be a referendum on the death penalty.

[Doc Spock]

P.S.


a knee jerk re-action is required.



Best obtained at the end of a rope.

[Drisgirl]

I suspect that most people who thought it through and didnt just bay for blood would realise that hanging is too good for them .

I am absolutely against the Death Penalty -but this is going off on a tangent.

This is about this lady and the other circumstances I mentioned -being used whilst very vulnerable.
She will be hounded for ever and a day now.

In a few months I would bet my bottom dollar she wishes that she hadnt said what she said -even although thats what she was feeling because she will be hounded for a comment every time something like this happens again.

She will never be allowed the privacty to attempt to put together her life and the shattered lives of their children as she will be constantly reminded (as if she doesnt need to be reminded -but she has chosen to swim not sink so that means moving forwad as best as possible -not an easy task -let me assure you).

I need hardly remind you that Stephen Lawrences parents split up eventually due to the media pressure and Sarah Paynes parents hit the botttle terribly until they spit up -again due to the constant glare of the spotlight.That is all fact.

[brionon]

How do you measure grief ? One person gets over it,anorher kills him/herself. Difficult to grasp as it is-we are all DIFFERENT !

[Drisgirl]

Brionan -get a grip -read what I have said -no-one gets over grief or a loss -what- do you think we are all devoid off human feeling.?
What I was alluding to YET again was why choose her to be the voice of the Hang em high brigade' when others have suffered just as much.
Its not a competion -and thats not what I meant..

Jeeesuuzzz -I have been called callous and goodness what else on this thread.

I was merely trying to highlight why it would appear that only selective tragedies are pinpointed by the media.

I feel that sometimes when people are at their MOST vulnerable they agree to be thrown into the lions den -when in fact they are being used as fodder for the press.

I thinks its abhorrent that poor woman -when I can assure you she is still extremely raw -that was patently obvious for everyone to see -was allowed to give such interviews.She has now made a rod for her own back which she will regret.

At the end of the day who would appear to care -grabbed the headlines and got everyone talking -she served her pupose.

I seem to be alone in thinking that she has been used -yet I am the one who si being vilified.
I dont mind a healtyh discussion -thats all I wanted -not an onslaught.

Has no-one -with a few exceptions -learnt the ability to debate/discuss without hurling insults

Sorry it does nothing for me -I now realise why I dont frequent News as often as I did before.

No-one takes the time to understand fully the thread and subsequent well thought out posts I made -its just skim over it then give a reaction which isnt in any way shape or form pertinent to the discussion I was hoping to start.

[LoftyLottie]

I should give up Drisgirl. Go and make yourself a cuppa xx

[Drisgirl]

Thanks Lottie -youre a gem.xx

I tried and failed miserably but my soul is still intact even dispite Sandys assumptions about me -dont think i'll hear anything from him -do you?

Anyway -off in a few mins -my daughters birthday today -so up to her house and spruce it up-fresh flowers the lot- want to make it special for her i'll stop short of the ballonns tho -lol

Catch ya later hun xxx