domestic assault

[jonnynoname]

can i as a victim of domestic asault withdraw my statement and choose not to use it as evidence as i feel bad as it was not a one way abusive relationship and we still love each other im in scotland can anyone help me please the ploice say im unable to do so but i think this wrong ?

[Abdulmajid]

Isn't love great? Accept and dish out beatings. Involve the Police and then make up.

All the best to you both in your wonderful relationship. X

[pink-kittens]

Not sure about Scottish law but I'm sure I read recently that in the case of domestic abuse if there is enough evidence then the police don't need your statement.

For goodness sake do yourself a favour. one sided or not this is not love, love does not hurt. Love is not broken bones and bruises. It's not being frightened to cough in the wrong place. Love is certainly not ever having to call the police or make a statement because one or other of you hit the other one. Get out now whilst both of you are still alive.

[jonnynoname]

its very complicated we do really love each other just people and things always ruin our progress in gettin to where we want to go and we take it out on each other we are goin to attend councelling together because we truly love each other i no that for a fact people cant judge others because every situation is different im just really worried because the court date is in a few weeks what is the worst that could happen to my b/f he was acting in self defence but refuses to make a staement agaisnt me will the judge see this as just another excuse or not i no the courts will favour me because im female but i believ this i wrong as many men are abused by women and men dont like to admit this .

[Drisgirl]

You cant withdraw your statement as its the PF who is prosecuting -not you.

Your relationship is yours and only you know what its like.I will say however -I was a victim for the first and last time ever a few weeks back-(I am Scottish) and I had no hesitation in getting the Police involved.Surely you dont want to send out the wrong signals if you want your relationship to continue -that is so wrong on many levels -A wake-up call is needed -simple as.

[Drisgirl]

If he is a first offender he will likely get a Community Service Order or probation.It helps if you tell his defence agent that you are still with him and you are endeavouring to address relationship issues yourselves.
Stop making excuses for him -you really are sending out the wrong signals-believe me.

[jonnynoname]

i thought this is service is for advice!!!!! not to be critiscised

[pink-kittens]

Actually, maybe his court appearance and subsequent sentence, what it may be, will keep him on the right line?

Personally I still think you are mad for staying with him - now way I would. Same as Drisgirl, I was hit once and he didn't get the chance to do it again AND the police were involved

I think you are mad

[jonnynoname]

he got bail but on the grounds not to contact me in anyway. he was abiding by those but we just feel so strongly we cant to this i dont want to jepordise his bail im really worrying i dont want to lose him has anyone ever been in this situation before ??

[pink-kittens]

If you don't want to get him into trouble then why on earth are you helping him, aka aiding and abetting, break his bail conditions?

There really si no helping some people. Regardless of what anyone tells you here you will always come back with an excuse, won't you?

You deserve each other really, don't you?

[Drisgirl]

Well thank you for thanking me for giving you proper advice -jeeesssuuuzz -talk about defensive.

Actually puts me off replying to ungrateful people like you.

Sorry for not giving the answer you wanted but telling it as it will be.

Best of luck to the pair of ya !!!

[bensmum]

I don't agree with what you want to do - there is never any justification for domestic violence - and I am speaking from first hand experience here.
However you could write a letter to the court explaining that you are wanting to make a go of the relationship and they might take that into consideration when sentencing.
But please be very sure that this is really what you want and be careful.

[Drisgirl]

O and by the way if he was bailed and ordered not to contact you then he pled not guilty -very foolish -he will get the book thrown at him.
What you dont get is that couples have pushing and shoving matches but when a man can only get the better of you with using his superior brute force then the line has been crossed.
Pity you cant see this- you have'I will always be a victim' written all over your posts -you will rue the day -seriously !