ChatterBank1 min ago
mortgage and new partner!
My partner of 4 yrs now wants to move in and for us to share the mortgage etc.
I'm a little reluctant because I've been through a divorce and lost so much. Even though it was my ex who cheated on me! (But that's another story!)
Anyway, the way I look at it is, that the house and every thing I have belongs to me (and my 8yr old son). I'm just scared that if we split I would lose everything again. Don't get me wrong, I love him to bits and we are very very happy and I would love him to move in as we would also like to start trying for a baby. It's just that having had my fingers burned I'm scared of it happening again. Is there a way legally of making sure I wouldn't lose it all again. My partner has never had a mortgage before and I undersatand that I have to be fair to him if we did split. I hate to think about us splitting up and hope it will never happen, but I thought that last time.....
I'm a little reluctant because I've been through a divorce and lost so much. Even though it was my ex who cheated on me! (But that's another story!)
Anyway, the way I look at it is, that the house and every thing I have belongs to me (and my 8yr old son). I'm just scared that if we split I would lose everything again. Don't get me wrong, I love him to bits and we are very very happy and I would love him to move in as we would also like to start trying for a baby. It's just that having had my fingers burned I'm scared of it happening again. Is there a way legally of making sure I wouldn't lose it all again. My partner has never had a mortgage before and I undersatand that I have to be fair to him if we did split. I hate to think about us splitting up and hope it will never happen, but I thought that last time.....
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My sister had this 'problem'
What they did in the end was consult a solicitor who drew up a contract for them. She will get, if they were to divorce al of the �50,000 she out down as a deposit plus the equity of what the house was worth when her fiance moved in. He was happy with that even though he *could* lose everything if the house is worth less than it was when they had it valued last year
Have you spoken about it at all?
What they did in the end was consult a solicitor who drew up a contract for them. She will get, if they were to divorce al of the �50,000 she out down as a deposit plus the equity of what the house was worth when her fiance moved in. He was happy with that even though he *could* lose everything if the house is worth less than it was when they had it valued last year
Have you spoken about it at all?
Be aware that currently such contracts are not legally binding in the UK - that could change in the future.
But having a contract will help prove your intentions at the time it was made, but don't rely on it too much.
It concerns me that you have no qualms about having a baby with a man you are worried about having a mortgage with.
Maybe you simply aren't ready for such a major commitment.
Life is a gamble, sadly. Look at all your options. You could, for example, move in with him and rent your house out - or sell the house and put the profits in trust for your son.
But having a contract will help prove your intentions at the time it was made, but don't rely on it too much.
It concerns me that you have no qualms about having a baby with a man you are worried about having a mortgage with.
Maybe you simply aren't ready for such a major commitment.
Life is a gamble, sadly. Look at all your options. You could, for example, move in with him and rent your house out - or sell the house and put the profits in trust for your son.
You do not have to give him any of your value currenty in the property if you don't want to. You could ask how much he intends to give you to "buy in" and arrange for the deeds to reflect your respective shares in the equity. Surely he doesn't expect to be given this considerable advantage just for moving in? More importantly, an old fashioned view I know, but why ae you thinking about producing a baby between you when you can't even talk to him about this matter?
Hi all, thank you for your comments.
We have spoken about this but I have to admit not thoroughly. The option of moving in with him would not work as he lives with his Mum!
I have no qualms about having a baby with my partner but then again I had no qualms having a baby with my ex husband and look where that ended. We have a solid relationship but as I've said before I thought I had a solid marraige. I was with my ex for nearly 20 years! It really is a case of "once bitten twice shy".
Anyway, I think I will have a chat with him tonight and sort out an appointment with a solicitor. He has said he would be happy to do a sort of pre-nup.
Thanks again for you comments.
We have spoken about this but I have to admit not thoroughly. The option of moving in with him would not work as he lives with his Mum!
I have no qualms about having a baby with my partner but then again I had no qualms having a baby with my ex husband and look where that ended. We have a solid relationship but as I've said before I thought I had a solid marraige. I was with my ex for nearly 20 years! It really is a case of "once bitten twice shy".
Anyway, I think I will have a chat with him tonight and sort out an appointment with a solicitor. He has said he would be happy to do a sort of pre-nup.
Thanks again for you comments.
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