ChatterBank0 min ago
CSA & access
ok bit of a history. My childs father was abusive to me on n off for 9 years. Ever since we split up he has never paid a penny for his son and even in the relationship i can count on two hands the amount of stuff he has bought him and that is in 3 years.
Now ive stopped access as he has threatened to abduct my son and the police have been called etc etc.
Now i was wondering. If i went for Child Support would that give him more entitlement to have access with our son. I am going to fight all the way through court for him not to get access if it comes to that. But i wasnt sure what is best to do in regards to maintenance. Wether or not to try for it even though i dont want him haveing access or not too.
Can anyone advise me please on what's best to do in this situation.
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The CSA have nothing whatsoever to do with access.
What are you ex's circumstances, employment wise?
The CSA are absolute rubbish. The only way you stand a chance of getting anything is if your ex is in employment, and then they can take maintainence from his wages. If he is self employed or unemployed you will probably get the �5 minimum per week.
What are you ex's circumstances, employment wise?
The CSA are absolute rubbish. The only way you stand a chance of getting anything is if your ex is in employment, and then they can take maintainence from his wages. If he is self employed or unemployed you will probably get the �5 minimum per week.
You have nothing to lose by going to the CSA , and you might be one of the few lucky ones that they manage to get money for!
If your ex wants access, he will have to apply through the family courts. This is a lengthy and expensive process for him. If you have a record of all his threats (times, dates, what was actually said, etc) and you have called the police, I don't think he stands a cat in hells chance of being granted access.
If your ex wants access, he will have to apply through the family courts. This is a lengthy and expensive process for him. If you have a record of all his threats (times, dates, what was actually said, etc) and you have called the police, I don't think he stands a cat in hells chance of being granted access.
weve been through this route beofre with access and been court etc and he was granted supervised access in a centre but it wasnt good, my son got all distressed as he was only 18months, it wasnt a secure environment either. so we have solicitors etc and everything is well documented through out the last 2 years and his numerous threats.
I also want to change my sons last name by deed poll but need his permission grrrrrrr feel like im not getting anywere fast at moment
I also want to change my sons last name by deed poll but need his permission grrrrrrr feel like im not getting anywere fast at moment
Well to be fair from what you have said, and thats all im going on i think you should also take into account what youre son wants, and want he wants long term.
He maybe young but to be fair 90% of couples never actually consider the child and only use them as a pawn in a never ending battle.
As a father yeah he dont sound great but thats no reason to stop him seeing HIS child and to be fair no court would ever grant you that wish im sorry to say, and thats because whether you like it or not he's his dad at the end of the day and if he's not a danger to the child then the courts will never give you want you want, im sorry.
As you have stated you have been hit a number of times by this man but thats another aruement and case,
As for maintance and stopping him from seeing him well you carnt have both in my opinion, to be fair if he does pay this will sure more so that he's been a dad and paying his part to his child and would look better for him in the long run im sorry to say.
Im sorry if ive sounded like im on his side but im not at all in just open minded and i think the main problem here isnt the fact that hes been a bad father of doesnt spent lots of time with his child but that fact that you have obviously been through a bad time with this guy and the big thing that stands out that most might miss is that you have been back to him a number of times in the 9 years? If hes that bad why?
He maybe young but to be fair 90% of couples never actually consider the child and only use them as a pawn in a never ending battle.
As a father yeah he dont sound great but thats no reason to stop him seeing HIS child and to be fair no court would ever grant you that wish im sorry to say, and thats because whether you like it or not he's his dad at the end of the day and if he's not a danger to the child then the courts will never give you want you want, im sorry.
As you have stated you have been hit a number of times by this man but thats another aruement and case,
As for maintance and stopping him from seeing him well you carnt have both in my opinion, to be fair if he does pay this will sure more so that he's been a dad and paying his part to his child and would look better for him in the long run im sorry to say.
Im sorry if ive sounded like im on his side but im not at all in just open minded and i think the main problem here isnt the fact that hes been a bad father of doesnt spent lots of time with his child but that fact that you have obviously been through a bad time with this guy and the big thing that stands out that most might miss is that you have been back to him a number of times in the 9 years? If hes that bad why?
thanks for your reply
domestic violent relationships are hard to get out and he weedled his way back in numerous times.
In regards to my son, his father is a threat, he was in his fathers arms the last time he abused me, his father has threatened to abduct him numerous times also. So much so we are on the police high risk, houseing high risk and numerous other agencies now too. In regards to csa they have just actually wrote out to me, his benefits have informed them he on jsa and they are takeing money off him each week. Which i hadnt applied for but they did themselves
domestic violent relationships are hard to get out and he weedled his way back in numerous times.
In regards to my son, his father is a threat, he was in his fathers arms the last time he abused me, his father has threatened to abduct him numerous times also. So much so we are on the police high risk, houseing high risk and numerous other agencies now too. In regards to csa they have just actually wrote out to me, his benefits have informed them he on jsa and they are takeing money off him each week. Which i hadnt applied for but they did themselves
yeah domestics are funny and its ashame people like you have to go through it but youshould always think of the child and never miss the main point THE CHILD...... now you have said that hes also a danger to his child and you are on a high risk register then i do feel for you and i hope the law and csa do everything in their power to help you.
Its just i see so many mothers go this way and make out the fathers are so bad and that they shouldnt be dads, but its 80% never the case and its alway ashame to se kids used as pawns.
Also im not great lover of the csa they have failed in so many ways for mothers and fathers, and the systems they have oviously isnt working.
My pet hate is mothers getting maintance off a father of the child and going out every weekend getting ****** on the childs money!!.......The money isnt for the single parent its for the child...................I hope you find someone nice and treat you better in time and may become a good father figure to youre son.
Its just i see so many mothers go this way and make out the fathers are so bad and that they shouldnt be dads, but its 80% never the case and its alway ashame to se kids used as pawns.
Also im not great lover of the csa they have failed in so many ways for mothers and fathers, and the systems they have oviously isnt working.
My pet hate is mothers getting maintance off a father of the child and going out every weekend getting ****** on the childs money!!.......The money isnt for the single parent its for the child...................I hope you find someone nice and treat you better in time and may become a good father figure to youre son.
thankyou so much, its nice to see some decent people out there, dont worry im T-Total. My sons money will go on my son and nothing else. Im totally against that too.
Its just very hard work as he keeps trying to worm his way back in and i refuse to let him. Hence why i do not want him around my son. My son is alot more relaxed when not near him. My son is also going through the stages of seeing wether or not he is autistic too. So he is more suseptable to any changes in emotions etc and cant handle them very well.
So im working through this now too aswell as staying away from him
Its just very hard work as he keeps trying to worm his way back in and i refuse to let him. Hence why i do not want him around my son. My son is alot more relaxed when not near him. My son is also going through the stages of seeing wether or not he is autistic too. So he is more suseptable to any changes in emotions etc and cant handle them very well.
So im working through this now too aswell as staying away from him
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