Bi - polar disorder, divorce and debt

[yinyang]

I've posted a more legal slant on this in law but would like to get some feedback from anybody that has been in a similar situation.

Basically a close family member is seperated from her husband who has badly managed Bi - polar disorder. They are in a lot of debt - at risk of losing the house etc. - but he is being very uncooperative and difficult. He is withholding information about exactly how much they owe and refusing to help her sort it out in any way. As their mortgage, loans and bills are all in joint names she really feels her hands are tied just nowe and can't see a way out of it.

Citizen's Advice told her they had no-one qualified to help her and she's not entitled to Legal Aid - lawyers bills are also outwith what she can afford.

If anyone out there has been through a similar situation - divorcing someone who has mental health problems, or someone who has created a huge debt then wants nothing to do with it; or both - I would rally appreciate any advice on how you got through this and where she can turn to get the help she needs. Thanks.

[Androcles]

This is a very difficult situation to deal with - your family member has my sympathy, having seen something similar in my own family.

It is almost impossible toi get people to engage if they don't want or need to do so, so it may be that she has to precipitate something that either he cannot ignore, or that matters are taken out of his hands, which may mean talking to the building society or anybody else where there is a big debt and say I am trying to sort this out but he won't cooperate with me - can you help by taking it a stage further. Drastic, I admit, but maybe he needs a kick where it hurts to get him to engage. A lawyer would be the best, but you said that is not affordable. This is roughly what happened in our family case - he was put in a position where he had no choice but to engage. It wasn't easy or pleasant, in fact it was downright horrible, but it eventually got the job done. In the end we had to force him into individual bankruptcy.

[yinyang]

Thanks for your answer, Androcles.

It is horrible for her ; i'm sorry you know of someone else that has had to go through this. Hope things are more settled for them now.

At the moment his feelings aren't really a consideration - she will do whatever it takes to get this sorted, no matter how unpleasant. He's sitting doing nothing but feeling immensely sorry for himself while she's looking after their daughter, doing 2 jobs and trying to organise the house and deal with all this. It's a good job I don't know where he isor I would go and throttle him!

I will pass on the information about the bank and see if that's something she wants to pursue. You could be right and the realisation that there could be some serious comeback for him might just snap him out of it enough to get this sorted.

I agree that a lawyer's advice is really what's needed , we'll need to have a look down the back of the sofa and see if we can help her out with that.

Thanks again.

[Crazychickx]

Hi there, I am Bi-Polar and I feel for your relative I really do...if he is as badly managed as you say, could she not apply for a Power of Attorney over his finances?

I dont know much about law, but when I was very ill, to stop me spending (its a symptom of Bi-Polar) my Dad, got a temporary Power of Attorney over me, to stop going out and blowing all money.

All the best.

[yinyang]

Thanks crazychick,

Having spent a few days nosing about on line, Power of attorney is one of the possible options. Legal advice definitely needed methinks.
All the best.