Just found out out the other woman

[tinkerbell]

I have just found out that my long term partner has been seening another woman. To cut a long story we were going t hrough a bad patch end of 2008 due to drink and other habits. So he went to Oz to see family and sort himself out. He contact me 3 months later and he return 9 months later tee total. It was like to just met so it was a wonderful time. Upon his return he brought a van to make into a camper van. In January of this year he told me that he was going back to Oz for a 3 months visit to see his father who was poorly. He return in April and our relationship was best ever. He converted his van into a camper and said he was going travelling for 6 weeks before he starts work in July. When he return he cleaned out his van and while i was sorting out his rubbish i found a note from a woman saying thank you for a lovely time and that she will be thinking for him until they next met. I was shocked and betrayed i didn't know what to do but yes i confronted him at first he said it was a joke then he admitted it. He met her the 1st time in Oz and and she knew about me. She had paid for his 2nd trip, the van and the europe trip because she wanted to tour Germany is where she was born she had used her dead brothers money. She is now back in Oz and have told him to end it and he said yes, but i feel that i want to phone her and end it for him so that i know its done. The other thing i can't get over she is 63 and he is 50( and very fussy about how a woman should look) i feel she should know better but all she seems to be doing is throwing money at him and what men is going to say no. He says there is no future in it. What should i do, should i contact her?

[4getmenot]

No you should get rid of your man, not even think about him and move on. You will never trust him.

[DSJ]

Absolutely not. Don't yet involved.

[jno]

quite a lot of men would say no, actually. You can yell at her all you want (and who could blame you), but your real problem is with him and that's what you should be working on - if you think there's really any point. He has been two-timing you round the world.

[AlBags]

Nope ..
You have to let him go.
You now also have to join NoM's boozy thread.

Big Hugz xx Been there myself.

[sara3]

no, keep your dignity and ditch the man.

[trionam]

there is nothing to be gained by contacting this woman if he says its over and she is in australia I wouldnt be worried if she lived around the corner from you then thats a different story.

[rowanwitch]

Nick the van and go touring yourself.....pick me up on the way...

[cazzz1975]

pointless contacting her as she is just as innocent as you. who's to say he wont meet another woman? you have to look long and hard at the relationship as a whole and ask yourself if its worth putting the time in now the trust has been destroyed and are you going to be prepared if he does it again?

[tinkerbell]

How can she be innocent if she knew about me and she knew he was coming back to me the 1st time he came back from Oz?

[4getmenot]

trio so he would be faithful in england?

[cazzz1975]

because she isnt in a relationship with you, he is, she isnt cheating on you, he is..

how do you know what bull he has fed her?

[momcj]

You have to try and let him go! Would he have stopped it if you had not found out? He has been living a double life! having his cake and eating it. You deserve better. Just think if you did keep him, would you ever be able to trust him again? When he goes to OZ to visit family, would you trust him! Are you sure his father was even ill, or was it a cover story. Good luck in your future x

[sadielady]

tinkerbell....can I just say, you have only just registered on this site, it seems alot to give out about yourself and your life on your first (?) visit. Just find it odd

[oscardoodles]

Sometimes the opinion of strangers is just what you need.....we are all family deep down.

[momcj]

but she may have joined the site to get advice off people that she is not connected too and to get a large range of different views, is that not what this site is about? 'answerbank'?

[trionam]

no 4get but I just thought with the other woman being so far away its not like he could just reignite the affair anytime soon. I so dont agree with what he has done but maybe they can salvage something if she is not on the scene whatvever tinkerbell decides to do I think trying to contact the other woman would achieve nothing.

[oscardoodles]

Bang bang Mom....thingy,forget the why's and wherefores sweet,go and change your life....it's easy when you just go and do it.

[tinkerbell]

No i don't find it odd i throught people from the outside could give there point of view as i have no where else to turn to. Have u a problem with my question??

[4getmenot]

no doubt he will go back there if his family is there

[pips1]

Every single poster on here has said the same thing, it is the only way - go solo!