Jay, don't worry about that at all!............they're very discreet, it'll be very easy for them to become involved, since your aunt has had a stroke, and her health isn't great, they can make it look like they are becoming involved as a matter of course, make sure you make them aware that you feel that your aunt would suffer if your cousin knows of your involvement, as long as you fill them in properly, there won't be a problem!........they can truly be your aunt's champions, in that they can make sure that she stays in her home, if that's what she wants, and they will monitor her closely if there is chance of bullying by her son..............I know, have dealt with many similiar cases over the years!...........sad, but true that sometimes sons and daughter's don't always put their elderly parents before what they want.................