Violent Ex gets suspended sentence for separate crime. Where do I stand?

[Ann0n]

I'm 8 months pregnant. My ex is a violent, aggressive man who persistently harasses me. Phoning every other day and has threatened to physically harm me. During our relationship he was emotionally abusive and would regularly scream abuse at me or throw things in my general direction. He slapped me on two separate occasions so I know he is capable of hitting a woman.
He has written abusive mails over facebook (which I stupidly deleted because I didn't think it'd go this far). I just assumed after some time that he would leave me alone.
He's currently in a court battle because he smashed a pint glass into a man's face. He was charged with Section 18 and pleaded not guilty but pleaded guilty to a section 20. I have no idea what that means, just what he's told me. Basically, he's getting a suspended sentence now fro 2 years. I was hoping he'd be sent down. Selfish as that sounds, I'm at my wits end and I just need a break from him.
I am genuinely scared for my own safety. I hardly ever leave the house in fear that he'll turn up. And now he's not going to prison, he's openly said "you have no idea what I'm capable of now. I've got nothing to lose." to which I said "what's that supposed to mean," he just answers "I'm not stupid enough to admit over the phone something like that. You won't be able to quote me"
He's threatened that he's going to pay for a lawyer to get full custody. Not because he wants my baby, he just wants to hurt me.

Please help. How do I go about getting a restraining order? And what are my rights with denying access? I don't want him to have anything to do with my baby or with me. I have no interest in child support. I just want him out of my life. It's not like I can afford a fancy lawyer, I've never been to court or been in trouble with the police, so I have no idea how this law things works.

[Purple_Popple]

Leave, phone Women's Aid for advice, why havent you left already? Do you have family around you to help or give support?

[Ann0n]

I have left. I left 3 months ago this is why I assumed the threats and phone calls would stop. I live with my mother and sisters at the moment. He knows that during the day I'm home alone so he turns up sometimes just to hurl abuse through the windows or to bang on the doors for up to an hour.
I'm a 20 minute train ride away from him which just shows the lengths he'd go to just to get to me.

[redcrx]

"He knows that during the day I'm home alone so he turns up sometimes just to hurl abuse through the windows or to bang on the doors for up to an hour."

why do you not call the police at this point.

[Ann0n]

Stupid and naiive as it sounds, I'm afraid if I get the police involved and nothing is done it'll end up worse on me. He's managed to more or less get away with glassing a man. If he can do that, he's bound to be able to talk his way out of this?

[carmalee]

you have to get to a safe place - as suggested, contact a women's refuge - just because your ex has been issued with a restraining order doesn't mean he won't hurt you. it isn't worth the paper it's written on if he really wants to harm you and your unborn child. Ignore his threats about getting full custody of the child - with his history that's extremely unlikely to happen. I appreciate you have the support of your family where you are now but you are clearly vulnerable and very stressed. IMO you need to be somewhere completely out of reach of this man even if it means moving a distance away.

[Purple_Popple]

You say he is an ex - yet you 'just need a break from him' ????? Dont understnad. Just call the police, you dont live with him...the police will just arrest him if you call 999 when he is threatening you and/or abusing you and where you live....you are asking for our help, yet you dont seem to be doing much about it, no one on here can have him 'dealt with' for you. You have lots if options here.

[Purple_Popple]

You might want to read this post of another in a similar situation as yourself.
http://www.theanswerb...uestion1020602-3.html

[Ann0n]

I meant, I need a break from him being in my face. I just want him out of the picture and to leave me alone. I have NO intention of going back to him. I have no intention of having contact with him.
I appreciate the advice.

[redcrx]

" I'm afraid if I get the police involved and nothing is done it'll end up worse on me"

but you think a restraining order would help?

[Ann0n]

That is, in no way, a similar situation to myself.

[Purple_Popple]

So how does he know you are 'home alone' in that day, every day ??? This seems to me that you answer the door to him when you know its him...if you see him at the door - DONT ANSWER IT. HIDE. Make it look like you are not home. Call the police !!!!

[Purple_Popple]

It is domestic abuse! Your 'ex' has caused not only ABH but worse still GBH - if not to you, to another person by glassing them, wake up. How old are you?

[Purple_Popple]

"During our relationship he was emotionally abusive and would regularly scream abuse at me or throw things in my general direction. He slapped me on two separate occasions so I know he is capable of hitting a woman."

[The-HouseHusband]

Contact the Police when he is around and if you can afford it invest in a CCTV kit so you can record him having his rants.
If you want a break from him then the police are your best bet, if he has a suspended sentence hanging over him he should back off at the first threat of police involvement as what you have described is enough for a Judge to rule that he has broken some part of the conditions surrounding the suspended sentence.

[Nosha123]

You have to do something.. the above post is good advice.

Too many women put off doing anything for fear of making a situation worse...

If he goes back inside you are protected for long enough to get your life back on track and move away with your new baby!
You could end up injured or worse if you dont get away from this man and move somewhere he wont find you!