Why Am I Feeling Like This Now????

[NataliaGreen85]

Back in Sept 2012 I found out I was preggo I slept with a friend who I been known, but never really hung around. Well we got reacquainted over FB, & he texted me around my bday which was Aug 26. We texted & talked & he asked if he could treat me for my bday so I said Ok. I mean it was my bday. LOL well anyway we went out the day after & had a good time. After that we talked & hung out the rest of the week. We went out again later that week & I stayed the night with him from Fri - Mon.. Anywho that weekend I stayed we had sex & a week later we had un protective sex.. Well we eventually had a argument & didnt speak for a week. So 1day I had really bad stomach pains . I decided 2 go to the er & they had me urinate in a cup & bam I'm pregnant he calls the same day I guess becuz he missed me .Me bein a grudge holder & just findin out I was preggo really had my mind in a fog. I waited a few days 2 call him becuz I was still angry.. Bein as though this was my first pregnancy I was scared shitless , so I didn't know what 2 do. I called him a few days after I found out I was pregnant . I thought he was gonna be upset , but he was really excited & asked if we could keep it. I told him yes, & after thinkin about it I had a million thoughts runnin through my mind so I called him and told him I changed my mind he went crazy & started talkin crazy callin me names threatenin me plus some more. Long story short his craziness pushed me away even more . For the first 2 months before my abortion all he did was text me & threatened me & stress me out even more. Like one day he would tell me how much he loved me and wanted me to live with him so we could be a family, & soon as i didnt tell him what he wanted to hear he would go off bein a jerk stressing me out more. I eventually got it done :( I know I feel horrible about it wish I could go back , but I wasn't sure if I wanted a baby by someone so evil & insensitive .. So after I told him he said what he had 2 say out of anger . We were still friends on fb & oneday I made a status & he commented puttin all my & our business on my status so I deleted & blocked him for 8 months. One day I cleared my block list, and right after he inboxed me asking how I been. I didn't reply or anything, because I still have a lil resentment for him. Although I'm angry deep down inside I miss him... Why do I feel this way??? Ps excuse my grammar I'm on my iPad and my typin is horrible n here vs a computer

[Octavius]

Its more likely you miss the friendship and connection you thought you had. You blocked him for a reason, and it sounds to me like you made the right choice for you in terms of termination.

Are there any other people in your life, and what age are you, I'm guessing you are around 28 from your username, but this does help put some perspective on the advice given. Have you had any post abortion counselling?