Deleting My Obsession With An Ex Lover

[inamuddle1]

I've been obsessed with a guy for about 2 and a bit years now... Seeing him every couple of months and having casual times together, messaging him every day, thinking of him. It was a long distance thing. The last 2 years have been a roller coaster of emotions, highs and lows. He's seen/heard it all. But I must admit, it's been mostly lows with him. Fun during the moments we were together but crappy after.

Anyway, recently things got a bit serious, serious talks, serious moods, serious... and I know he doesnt feel anything for me, lots of discussions regarding trust have arose, and confidence, and the whole argument has made me look at the ugly parts of myself. He said he has no confidence in me and because he said that, i started not to trust him.

Hundreds of times i've tried to delete his phone number from my phone, always knowing i have it written somewhere if I really need it, then soon after re-adding him and the conversations start again, and blah de blah de blah.

Anyway, tonight I deleted him from my phone, I blocked him from my what'sapp and I scribbled his number out from my address book. I had over thought it because i messed about doing it for about 20 minutes. I really feel like I have just lost it over this guy.

I know i need to stay away from him. I feel rejected. I feel sensible that he's not the guy for me. But I'm completely lost in lust. Even this post is a lust post... but it's not, it's an "I need to get this off my chest post."

I dont even want to speak to my girlfriends about him, because they have heard it all before...

[pixie373]

I think most of us have had one of those. I certainly have and even though I love my partner and have kids, if I happen to see my ex around, I still smile. He was an absolute nightmare to be honest. Couldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, but so gorgeous! It's not easy and you won't forget him, you will move on, but for your own sake stay away- at least for a few months!

[boxtops]

well done, muddle. It sounds as if, to be honest, you are better off on your own than with someone who "makes you look at the ugly bits of yourself". We all know magnetic men - but there's nothing good in this for you, you've been in a vicious circle.

Now you're not. Well done. If you want to add him again, come on here and tell us, rather than doing it....

[inamuddle1]

Thanks! Yeah i don't think it's been good. :)

[Bbbananas]

2 words love - Move. On.

[boxtops]

..and don't look back, don't think backwards. This is the New You.

[woofgang]

Don't look back, you aren't going that way.

[grasscarp]

You need to find something else to occupy yourself. Is there some hobby or evening class that could interest you. I see you have friends which is good, but you also need other things so you don't get bored and want to get in touch with him. Very well done if you can keep away. Best of luck.

[DaisyNonna]

Onward and upward, or even sideways, diagonally but not back.
A new direction, a new you, may be hard at first but good luck.

[askyourgran]

New life, new way of making the most of yourself. Congrats.

[Dee Sa]

today is the first day of your new life, you've done the right thing and you know it, walk tall, time to get out and meet new people, good luck, you know you can do it.

[andy-hughes]

This is the mental equivalent of scratching open wounds, or poking your tongue into a cavity to prod the exposed nerve - you know it will hurt like hell, but you do it anyway.

It is part of the human condition, but unless you have been in tis situation, it's hard for people to understand just how powerful the grip of a totally unsuitable partner can be.

You have done the right thing in making the breadk - the practical side of your kind knows there is no future here, and it is only damaging you and stopping you from being happy. The emotional side of your mind will ignore such logic and continue to torment you, but you must be strong and fight this addicition - and that is what it is.

When the craving gets too much, write down what you think, better still, get a pocket tape machine and talk to it, then play it back when you feel strong so you can re-enforce your determination to avoid this situation.

It is hard, and it's not over yet, but there is plenty of support on here from non-judgemental AB'ers - stick with us, we'll get you through to the other sided.

[mccfluff]

be selfish now, think of yourself

make some goals that relate only to you and commit yourself to them - btw a good friend will always be there

hope things get better soon x