One Liners

[marval]

"Don't kid yourself" would be a great slogan for a condom company

Marriage us like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond but by the end you wish you had a club and a spade.

The best part about being a procrastinator is you always have something to do... tomorrow.

Never give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.

Men are like babies when they get cranky; they just shove a nipple in their mouth!

The awkward moment when you mispronounce organism in science class.

I have just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the life out of me. That's it. No more reading!

I named my dog "five miles" so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.

I almost had a threesome last night, I just needed two more people

I tried to catch fog today... mist.

What do you get when you cross a hedgehog with an owl?
A pr!ck that stays up all night.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

[pixie373]

Lol:-)