Taking A Sabbatical From Marriage

[emmie]

so said actress Emma Thomson recently, as a way to keep the marriage fresh, she didn't mean herself of course, would any of you do this, or see it as a cop out, an excuse to go off perhaps with someone else for a little time, i think it's a strange concept.

[ummmm]

No.

It's easy to be blase about such things when you have the funds to support such decisions.

[sherrardk]

I think it's weird.

[EDDIE51]

Depends what you mean by a sabbatical, is this a euthamism for an affair?
I have heard of a trial seperation , is this another name for that?

[emmie]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/10761366/Emma-Thompson-Take-a-marriage-sabbatical.html

[Peter Pedant]

first step towards the door....

perhaps she doesnt realise the marriage is over - or just about to keel over.

[emmie]

she said it not me, and going on the first article i read last week, she is promoting her new film, which has the same theme, she doesn't think it would work for her, at least that's what i believed she meant

[EDDIE51]

Does not the marriage service say that marriage is ' for better or for worse, in sickness and in health , for richer for poorer, I keep you only to myself till death us do part'?
That is how I have viewed it in my 35 years of marriage to the same person.
No room for a sabbatical.

[emmie]

its what i thought, but its strange how someone who likely wouldn't do it herself, suggests it might be good for other couples.

[ummmm]

She does say in the article that it's not to be with other people.

It's more or less saying have your own life and interests..

[emmie]

i know, can you see that taking a break of a year, or two would make things more settled, because i can't. I rather think Eddie is right on this one

[emmie]

some would see it as a way to cop off with others, some might not of course. I don't really see it as strengthening a relationship, better to stick with it, if he or she is violent, and is a horrible person, then just leave.

[jno]

if you wanted to do something like study for a degree or travel round Mongolia for a few months, it might be helpful to do it alone, especially if your partner isn't into that sort of thing. A cousin of mine regularly spends a month or two every year travelling, either alone or with (female) friends or relatives, which she loves doing, while her husband stays home doing carpentry, which he loves doing.

Neither of them calls it a sabbatical, but the name fits all the same.

[ummmm]

I agree. It's nice to be able to have weekends or holidays with the girls but I couldn't be away from my partner for a year.

I'd miss him too much.

[emmie]

i think she meant a year or more, a few weeks, a few months is hardly life changing, its to do with re energising a dull marriage, one that has gone rather flat, can't see it myself.

[jno]

yes, you're right, I read that as meaning if the marriage had only been going a year but she means the sabbatical itself should last at least that long. I would have thought after that period of time you'd very easily have drifted apart and be following other interests.

But in real life, sabbaticals from work (if anyone still has them) are weeks or months rather than years.

[emmie]

marriage, relationships can be hard work, and both need to make the effort, its so easy to drift, but taking a year or more out won't fix it.

[jno]

the opposite effect, I would have thought.

[emmie]

yes.

[boxtops]

Friend of mine decided a while back that she needed a break from the marriage routine, to take stock, intending to come back in a month or so. Nobody else involved. After a couple of weeks the husband decided he was much happier without her around. Shot self in foot, in that case.

[emmie]

i have seen that as well, friend who told her husband she wanted some space, so he gave her some, the rest of her life,