Act 5 Scene 8
Enter MACDave
MACDave
Why should I play the Marval fool and make a pie
On mine own cooker? Whiles I see lives, the porkers rashers
Do better upon them sizzle.
Enter MACBaldric
MACBaldric
Turn, hellhounds, turn! Turn around, you Kentish dogs, off me. Down!
MACDave
Of all men else today I have avoided thee.
That Talbot included - But get thee back. Mikey is too much charged
With blood of thine already.
MACBaldric
I have no words. Tilly will talk for me.
My voice is in my knife. Thou hungrier villain
Than even gness can give thee out!
They fight
MACDave
Thou losest like tony's Villa.
As easy mayst thou the intrenchant AOG air
With thy keen knife impress as you think make me bleed.
Let fall thy blade on Lady J crests;
I bear a charmèd life, which must not yield
To one of that Psybbo woman born.
MACBaldric
Despair thy Midlands charm,
And let the rowan angel whom thou still hast served
Tell thee, MacBaldric was from his mother’s womb
Untimely ripped.
MACDave
Venator Accursèd be that tongue that tells me so,
For it hath OG cowed my better part of man, if I have one!
And be these juggling AB fiends no more believed,
That palter with us in a double minty sense,
That keep the word of promise to our ear,
And break it to our hope. I’ll not fight with thee.
MACBaldric
Then yield thee, King of the Kawazakis,
And live to be the BBC show and gaze o' th' time.
We’ll have thee, as our rarer jno monsters are,
Painted on a Jogger Jayne pole, and Barmaid underwrit,
“Here may you see the Midlands tyrant.”
MACDave
I will not yield,
To kiss the ground before young Jim’s feet,
And to be baited with the AB rabble’s curse.
Though Kettering Wood be come to Dunsinane,
And thou opposed, being of no woman born,
Yet I will try the last. Before my body
I throw my warlike shield. Lay on, MacBaldric,
And damned be him that first cries, “Hold the beer glasses enough!”
Exeunt, fighting. Alarums, Enter Mods suspensions in hand They enter fighting, and MACDave slain. Retreat. Flourish. 'We need the Ed,
Enter, with drum and colours, Jim, Slinky, Maisie, Alba, and Ummmm's SOLDIERS
They exit fighting. Trumpets and battle noises. The trumpet of one pub group sounds a call to retreat. The other pub’s trumpet sounds a call of victory. The victorious Scots enters, led by Jim, old Slinky, Maisie Alba, the other HANES clad fiery women (those I have missed), and Ummmm's soldiers, with a drummer and flag.
King Jim
I would the AB friends we miss were safe arrived. It must be time for GMEB.