Children Writing About The Ocean............

[Shaglene]

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6 )

2 ) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an *** on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and
comes back with crabs.. (Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean.
Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come.
My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean.. I like mermaids.
They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?
Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps
yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock.
They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves
in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water Divers can't go down alone,
so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast.
She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all
about the ocean.
What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

[Ken4155]

I'm in total agreement with Kevin (aged 6) at number 11, and i'm almost sure that Amy, age 6 (number 9) lives on my street:-)

[vulcan42]

Children can be very funny, My wife was a teacher and told a joke to her class of seven year olds. They all laughed except one lad who stood up and said" you wouldn't laugh like that if you knew about my granny".

[Patsy33]

Have read them before but still make me laugh. Total gems, thank you...

[zebo]

Until the day I escaped from the chalkface I always chuckled when teaching Pythagoras' Theorem because some years before one lad referred to the hypotenuse as Harry Potter's Pubes.