When my finger got caught in the huge door of the church my finger nail went black and my finger swelled. I was only 11. The doctor straightened a paper clip, heated it with his cigarette lighter and bodged it through the middle of my nail. A fountain of blood but it did the trick.
Not got a big book or a copper but I used to have a ganglion. Doctor said it was a Morton's neuroma. He stuck a needle in and sucked out all the gunge. It was no where near as big as Penhale's sculptor's!