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All Day

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marval | 14:58 Sat 18th Aug 2018 | Jokes
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I have spent all day working on my car, it only had reverse gear, I still don’t know why. I am still no further forward.

Does anyone know where Concentrate is? I’ve been drinking this lovely orange juice from there.

I wish I had never written it, but finally I have finished my book about regret.

I had a long think after winding up all my friends at a dinner party last night. Maybe I am too old to play with clockwork toys.

Yesterday evening I was trying to work out why my central heating thermostat wasn’t working, then it clicked.

I hate it when you go to a party and don’t know anyone else there. Maybe I should start going only to the parties that I have been invited to.

I was playing poker with my friend and he kept folding. I wish he would stop the origami while playing cards.

I am setting up a shop which sells curtains and carpets with swear words written on them. I am calling it ‘Explicit Material.’

I wasted a great deal of time trying to get information about niqabs, boshiyas and burqas but found nothing. The things you do to know a veil.

My glove puppetry skills were getting rusty. So I got my puppets out for an hour’s session. I like to keep my hand in.
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The second one reminds me of my brother when he was young. There was a write-in competition on TV, the winner would be drawn at random. Dad, why do they always go to Random to draw the winner?

My mother once seriously wondered why the horse Bar ran in so many races!
The final sentence sounds like the gynaecologist's defence to a sex abuse trial!

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