Touched Inappropriately

[jennyjoan]

that's all you get in that Daily Wail - he/she was a paedophile. Let me tell you I was "interfered with" at age 10, then 14 and then at 21.

You know what I just had to get on with it. Those three guys were paedophiles - I told my mother when I was 10 (I hadn't a baldy what was going on) - she hushed it down (she later told me this) as my dad and brothers would have killed him.

I never mentioned the interference of the 14 as it was a person who I admired so let that go.

Twenty one - hadn't a baldy because even at that age with 4 brothers and a dad - I had never seen a penis. Ever.

So I am badly damaged - no I'm not - I am doing ok but do think about it occasionally.

[jno]

not being rude, but maybe your ignorance saved you.

[jennyjoan]

perhaps Jno

[tonyav]

I agree with that, jno. Also if I was one of your brothers jj, lets just say that those that 'interfered' with you would remember me for the rest of their miserable lives.

[jno]

if you'd known what was happening it might have been much more unpleasant. Also if it actually caused you pain.

[jennyjoan]

thanks Tony but I did have twin brothers so it would have been a double whammy - they would have killed the first guy.

then again so much was hidden because of "TABOO".

[jennyjoan]

thank god it didn't cause me too much physical pain but have mental memories that it wasn't nice.

I'm only bringing this up cos when you read about this business - they're all in for money and more money.

[tonyav]

then again so much was hidden because of "TABOO".

I get the picture, jj ( I won't mention religion ).

[wolf63]

The phrase "Touched Inappropriately" covers a multitude of sins. I think many females have suffered from some degree of verbal or physical unwanted sexual abuse.

Hopefully, these days guys can accept that it is unacceptable behaviour and females will make their feeling on the subject known.

[barry1010]

The men who treated you so badly when you were 14 and 21 weren't paedophiles (unless you know they also sexually assaulted pre-pubescent children) but they were creeps and sexual offenders.
My wife was flashed at before she was 10 and twice more when she was a teenager. One episode was very frightening for her.

My daughter was groped on a bus on her way home from school. Her friend's step dad went to prison for touching her friend inappropriately when she was 11.
There are some very nasty, twisted people in the world and too many seem to get away with treating other people badly.

I am glad that these offences are now treated more seriously, flashers and gropers can progress to rape and other acts of violence and intimidation.
.

[Redhelen72]

Just because you learned to live with it does not make it ok!
Rather a tall leap to say it’s about the money!
If you are talking about the Katherine Ryan story she has no need for the money.

[barry1010]

I missed the comment about money.
It can be equally as harrowing to report any type of sexual offence.
Report your colleague/boss and you are likely to be ostracized at work, lose your job and have trouble finding a new one.
Report a family friend or relative and the whole family can be affected for years.
Tell your spouse you were once a victim of sexual assault and risk their view of you changing and your marriage crumbling.
That's before the hours of police statements and giving evidence in court if it gets that far.

My wife has said she would never accept financial compensation for any type of sexual assault as it would seem that she was agreeing to be paid, that it was just part of a contract.

I believe the majority of people who report and speak out are brave, not opportunistic money grabbers

[Bobbisox1]

JJ, I so admire your openness and honesty, almost a childlike quality and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way either, I’m pleased for you that you’re able to live with the awful experience you’ve had and move on with your life xx

[jennyjoan]

Let me say it was much more further than a flasher and a grope - that I've had those - but they didn't upset me as much.

Anyway all water under the bridge now but when I look back on my life (when these things happened) regarding my poor mum it was the elephant in the room as she just didn't know the right thing to do.

[Redhelen72]

It is not acceptable to expect a child to 'accept' it!
Be it a grope or a rape!

[barry1010]

Nobody should accept that sort of behaviour.

[jennyjoan]

well at my age now Helen - it is for me! You know since I was only 10 and then next siblings were 6 or 8 years older - they were 16 or 18 - I know for one thing my older siblings never ever have known about it. Particularly the sister - my mother wouldn't have spoken about those things - they were swept under the carpet.

[Redhelen72]

Just because you accept it and your mother swept it under the carpet does not mean it is right or should be done in this day and age!
I for one am very pleased that it is no longer swept under the carpet and can be discussed openly and that women have the confidence to speak about it.

[barry1010]

That was the culture back then, JJ, which is why men in their 80s and 90s are now standing in court and going to prison for offences they committed 60 years ago. Children couldn't tell anyone.
Thankfully times have changed.

[Bobbisox1]

A completely different age JJ, things weren’t discussed and even if they were ,there wasn’t the help out there that there is now

[barry1010]

And men, Helen, men and boys can be victims too