Opinions please..... re Hen Night Blunder?

[natalie_1982]

Twas my hen night Sat night, and it was a complete disaster. I woke up Sunday morning with a sore head, next to no hearing and a grumpy fiancee who is convinced that I am hiding something from him. He is not usually the jealous type, but we both have a lot of stress on us at the moment with the wedding being in two weeks. The thing is I now feel like I have done something wrong and know I am acting very suspicious and guilty - if I feel it surely I must come across like that? Which is fueling his suspicion of my doing something. I danced with a man, not slow smoochy dancing but grinding and the like for two songs. I don't feel that I should mention this as he will then think I hid it from him and it was actually more than that? My head's all over the place at the mo, and your opinions would be appreciated. I wouldn't normally post a personal Q on here but am at a loss really. And we usually have a great relationship and talk honestly about everything, but have hardly seen eachother lately and I think it is only going to get worse in the next two weeks. Advice anyone please?

[woofgang]

Say your hen night was a disaster, you wish you hadn't done it, you got off your face and danced with strange men (tell him the songs so he doesn't think you smooched) and you are really really sorry.

[natalie_1982]

Thanks Woofgang. I did tell all those things(except for the bit bout dancing with a blokie obv). I just wanted a little sympathy, and not even for the hangover but for the fact that his cousins were coked off their t*ts and left me high and dry with two people I don't know that well. I've been apologising for the past day, for upsetting him, or coming across like I have something to hide, and don't know whether it is best to let just get it out of his system or what. Men are a pain in the backside. We all get down and vulnerable from time to time - but does he have to do it when I feel like cack??!! Humph.

[johnlambert]

Humph?????????

Good god natalie, is it only women that are allowed to feel like pooh? most time you lot put it down to pmt, hormones etc but, remember, us lads feel stress as well, getting married is a very very stressful time, (trust me, i've been married three time already and each time is worse than the last).

Your fiancee will be hoping that this is the best day of your life, and he'll be working hard to ensure that it is.

Enjoy your wedding sweetheart, go on honeynoon and enjoy being married to a caring man.

[natalie_1982]

Thanks john, I did say that we were both under stress and that I can understand him feeling vulnerable.

Can't he do it midweek when I am feeling ok though? As opposed to the morning after the night before when I can't even remember what day it is whilst being grilled on where I was and what I did?

I am of course (half) joking, and know that I am very lucky to have him. It's just a sympthasize with him and look after him when he is hungover/ ill. He gets bacon sarnies and endless cups of coffee. When I am ill, it gives me extra time at home to get the housework done! But don't even get me started there. It's Monday and it's not even 9 o'clock yet.

I have a very caring, sweet and thoughtful man, who is senstivie sometimes, just like me. But I don't know what to do!

[johnlambert]

Take woofgang's advice and please stop apologising, doing that over and over only arouses a man's suspicions that you may have accually done something wrong.

Hope your big day goes well (I really realy do).

[johnlambert]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Sorry, I meant really really

[kick3m0n]

do you know what? I think you've said your sorry and told him what ahppened, so now you should just shut up about it and leave it alone. If you keep harping on about it you'll be in danger of protesting too much. Plus, he might just be throwing a moody, and you constantly apologising will give him reasoon to believe he's right. Sit down and talk to him. Tell him you're both under stress, but you now want to focus on your wedding and want to remember all the lovely reasons you have for getting married. Lets' face it, if you can't put a tiny wee thing like this behind you (even in times of stress) how would you cope if you had a real problem to face a s a couple?? You need to focus on what's important here. And THAT"S it. No more talk of rubbish hen nights etc, just get on with the next 2 weeks and look forward to your big day. How did you get on with the ring by the way?
Good luck.

[johnlambert]

Told you

[natalie_1982]

Hahaha, 15lbs of Vaseline later and the ring was removed!

Thanks for your posts all

[bec4022]

it's valentine day tomorrow go out 4 a nice meal and forget all abou the weddin 4 one night

[kick3m0n]

cross-posts eh, John? Great minds etc etc....

Nat - so glad you got the ring off. All the very best for your big day, I'm sure it'll be fantastic. xxx

[WendyS]

Thank heavens they didn't have hen nights as far back as when I got married. It seems to be they're just an additional source of stress and expense at the very time you need to be calm and trying to keep your finances in order.

Just forget it Natalie and don't refer to it again. The pair of you are probably wound up like tight springs waiting to snap. Just recognise that just about anything could trigger an irritable outburst at the moment so take yourselves out for a long quiet walk away from all the hassle and fuss and focus on all the good things ahead of you. Let him know you'd rather have his company than anybody else's and it will soon blow over.

[joko]

perhaps he already knows and is annoyed that you haven't told him!

if his cousins were there....and there could also have been others who know him in the same club, who have told him - even in jest - he could have seen images on a camera phone etc etc and is wondering why you are hiding it from him

tell him the truth and just you only just remembered - like a flash back - as you were so drunk.

[Greedyfly]

Maybe hes just feeling the stress and doesnt know how to handle it?

[Sassea]

Absolutely no reason for you to mention the two dances. They were JUST dances. - Unless of course YOU really liked the guy and subconciously you may be having second thoughts about your marriage, and its showing AND if not, then you have nothing to worry about. Personally I feel it is only the pre-wedding jitters, and that's all! I wouldn't worry so much about it. On the other hand, if the two of you have always been honest with eacg other they tell him exactly what you wrote here and deal with it up front and out in the open. What is the worse that can happen? You guys NOT getting married? Well then if that were the case then better to find out now than after your marriage, right? Just be honest, tell him what you're feeling and move on. Good luck, true love will conquer all. Keep us informed and all the best....