How to Hold your Knife and Fork

[lady_p_gold]

We were away at the weekend and with an American and we got into a discussion about how to hold your knife and fork. I know Americans do all sorts of funny things where they cut it up and then swap hands and things, but he noticed that in this country some people hold their knife and fork like a pen and pencil, and some people hold them with their index fingers pointed straight down the top of the knife and the fork. Some other in our group told him that this is a class issue and splits the country into sections, a bit like whether you say 'dinner' for lunch and 'tea' for supper. I am not saying either is right or wrong, my question is do other people notice that others do not do it like they do .. and do the people who hold them like a pen and pencil know that others think that brands them as being in a lower socio economic group ????

[raysparx]

Hello lady p, well I am proper working class and have always put my index finger on the top of knife does that make me a better class than I think i am?

although I don't subscribe to the class thing, it is still there isn't it!! and I do say dinner and tea, thats the working class bit isn't it?

My youngest son holds the cuttlery in a way I couldn't descibe,it just looks wierd, am I a snob? or just didn't fetch him up properly?

[lady_p_gold]

Well however much you try and ignore it, it does still exist and I think particularly when it comes to things to do with eating and breaking bread rolls and all that malarky ... and what I care about is how people are in terms of kindness and good manners i.e. in being pleasant and thoughtful, however .... it is quite fascinating how these labels exist and I suppose seeing it explained to an American highlighted it to me ... he has also noticed how class runs through so many things even our adverts .. i.e. insurance ads saying 'you don't have to be posh' etc ...

[raysparx]

Well you are so right, nothing wrong with any class as long as they each treat the other with respect.

When I worked in london,most of my work was for titled people, like the Dowager duchess of devonshire, and they were all lovely people, the only snobs were working class that had come into money, strange isn't it?

you sound a very nice person. you always answer in a really warm way

[lady_p_gold]

aw well thank you, that is a really nice thing to say !

[Gef]

Who cares as long as the food ends up in your gob (sorry lady_P, that's a mouth for you).

[lady_p_gold]

That wasn't the question I just wanted to know if other people noticed this ...... maybe I have posted it in the wrong section, I did try to make it clear that I was not making any judgement on it

[robbo82]

Being left-handed, I always hold my cutlery in the 'wrong' hands anyway, so I never fit in no matter how I'm eating!

[Narolines]

Yes, lady_p, I notice, and I am also aware that the "pencil" hold is often regarded as a sign of inferior class. Personally I'm an index-finger-on-top knife-user, but I don't attach any particular significance to that! I'm probably considered middle-class now - professional, owner-occupier, all that kind of stuff - but was brought up in a very working-class 2-up 2-down council house in the middle of Birmingham, so make of that what you will. What does grate on me a bit, though, is the way some people - usually younger ones - these days hold spoons as though they were bike handlebars. Did your discussion extend to spooning up soup away from you and desserts towards you? Another class issue, if I'm not mistaken.....

[Ouisch]

An American here, wondering exactly what are the "funny" things we do while eating.... <g> I was taught to hold my fork in my left hand and the knife in the right while cutting something, then the knife is placed back on the plate and the fork is transferred back to the right hand for eating. I was taught never to continually hold the knife in between bites. One major difference I've noticed while visiting the UK is people hold their forks upside down when placing food in the mouth. That is, the tine point downwards, rather than upwards as I'm used to. To be honest, my immediate impression was that of a lumberjack, or someone "shoveling" food into their 'gob'. Obviously, it's just a cultural difference, and there is no right or wrong way.

[lady_p_gold]

You won't believe this robbo but I am left handed too and also hold my knife and fork the other way round .. the funny thing is my son has copied me even though he is right handed derrrrrrr. And to Ouisch - sorry I did not mean to sound impolite however it does seem to be quite a lot of work the way Americans eat ! I don't think there will be any more replies so I am still left wondering whether any pen and pencil holders have any views ....

[T00N]

I eat with me hands...my mother keeps tellin me off when I go round for Sunday lunch

[kovac]

Hi - must say, I'm an index finger person myself, rather than a 'pencil holder' or a.... 'stabber'. But I totally see where you are coming from with regard to the American style of using cutlerly. I went on a cruise a couple of years ago, and the American sitting next to at dinner kept eating my bread roll...it is quite fascinating how mealtime etiquette varies from country to country.

[raysparx]

What the gravy TOON,? Mop it up with some bread, you can't beat it !!!

[Bertie Mtb]

I have a very posh lady friend (from Essex) who is constantly pointing out my holding of my knife like a pen. She has recently taken great delight in pointing this out at dinner with her parents

I have vague recollections of being taught to hold my knife 'properly' with index finger on back of blade, but I guess at some time in the past I have regressed to holding it like a pen. Being wide shouldered and fairly strong this is by far and away more comfortable, right forearm resting rather than waving about knocking over wine glasses or cans of beer!

Perhaps this is reflective of my poor upbringing in rural west Wales? I will have to keep my eyes open during festive period to spot other abominable knife wielders and point out their short comings.

May be I should add, rather than being confined by stereotypical bounds of posh vs. poor, I�ve elected to do as I please, do as I like and damn the little man !!

Bertrum
Happy xmas