Prohibiting steps order

[ayjay]

My daughters do not want to see, or have anything to do with their father. i'm trying to stop my ex-husband from seeing my 2 daughters,12 &14. He has been charged with supplyng amphetamine (he held my daughters arms behind her back and put it in her mouth, she was 13 at the time)He has pleaded guilty. his sentencing has been deferred till 1st Dec. He told police he would do it again and does not see that he has done anything wrong. "He was trying to educate them if there drinks were spiked.He is anti-drugs." Rubbish.He is always out of his head, and the police know it. My girls have seen him and his girlfriend do lines of cocaine. Amongst other things. They have seen Road rage, theft and various other things the police are aware of. There were bail conditions set, until he went to crown court. Now their are no bail cond. because of deferred sentencing he can see my girls. My solicitor has been to court today for a prohibiting steps order, which has been denied until there has been a hearing on friday in which my ex has the right to have his say!! i dont understand surely he has no rights after this. How can i stop him he gets away with everything he is well known to the local police, they are fed up of him. He has been caught 4 times driving whist disqualified and is still driving,even though he is banned till 2009, he's not in prison where he should be.

[bednobs]

im sorry,but i dont understand your question

[Pippa68]

Unfortunately (or fortunately if you believe everyone has rights) there is nothing much you can do.

You have to follow the path to justice in a respectable manner, rightly or wrongly.

[RATTER15]

He sounds like a very dangerous man and needs locking up very quickly.

[Deppster]

I sympathise with you - I had a violent dangerous ex partner and he tried twice to get a contact order to see my son and both times he failed. why can't your solicitor apply to court for an interdict to keep your ex away from your children? All you need is evidence (which you seem to have an abundance of) and perhaps a witness to back you up. Failing that I can't see how he could be granted a contact order especially as the girl's don't want to se him. There's a chance the court could granted him contact as long as it was supervised but even then I can't see how it's justifiable to let a man like that near children.

[Carakeel]

You should be able to get a restraining order, preventing him from seeing your children or contacting them or any member of your family in any way. A good solicitor will have this in hand and sorted quite quickly. My daughter's husband was not any way as bad as your ex. and she got one very quickly indeed. Stand up for yourself and your children and don't let him anywhere near you or your children. You may need to change solicitors if yours isn't being forceful enough on your behalf. If need be, move away and go into a women's refuge with the children. Let the police know you are there so everything is above board. Just don't take any chances, please. Believe me, moving away with your kids is not a matter of money, but a matter of determination to keep everyone safe. You can find a way to do this and rebuild your lives in a safe environment. Just hang in there and make sure your voice is heard. My thoughts are with you and I really do wish you all the best.

Just an idea : Make an appointment to meet your ex somewhere he will have to drive to. Arrange for the police to be there when he arrives, driving his car. They will probably be delighted to have the chance to arrest him ... yet again! Just make sure there is no way of him finding out that you dropped him in it. The police need to make the arrest on route to where you are to meet, but not at the same place. Sooner or later he will go to prison, if he keeps re-offending.

[ayjay]

bednobs, sorry i didnt make myself clear. I want to know how to stop him getting the right to see my girls. They are scared of him and want no contact. This is their decision. My ex will not listen, he wont leave us alone. Will the court listen to the girls or could they go against their wishes. My 19 year old son has had to make a complaint against his dad for harrassment. Which the police are also dealing with. We also have a panic alarm, the police put it in as they believe he is a threat to us.

[Pippa68]

ayjay ~ the courts tend to look at what is best for the children nowadays, rather than what the parents want. Therefore just because he wants to see his daughters, it won't neccessarily happen because your daughters will have a say.

What the coourt will have to decide is whether the children have been 'groomed' into saying they don't want to see their parent (not implying this is true in your case, but it happens frequently). A court welfare officer is usually the person who decides this. Good luck x

[Carakeel]

My grandchildren were even younger than your children when they were interviewed by the very nice CAFCAS Officer. She made her report to the courts, stating that the children did not feel safe seeing their dad. The court decided that they would not have to see him until they felt they were ready to do so. The court also decided that their younger brother, who was too young to be able to decide what he wanted, would also not benefit from seeing his dad, who was suffering from mental illness. The decision was reviewed ever six months I think. Now, about two years on, they are all comfortable enough with each other that the dad does see the children every so often, but only when they want to see him and my daughter deems it safe for them to do so. It is their decision now and that seems to work just fine. Have heart! Best wishes.

[ayjay]

Hi thanx for your help and answers, just to let you know, the judge granted the prohibited steps order.
It now covers our home the school and contacting my daughters.
It has been adjourned whilst they do further checks on my ex. including past criminal record for the past 6 months and social services reports, hopefully anything else they can come up with. Should be interesting reading!!
Thanx again x