Tongue Cancer!.........

[cat woman]

I have a younger sister aged 49 who has just been dianosed with tongue cancer, this has been such a stressful time for her and all our family, we are all supporting her but we are each having problems coming to terms with this dreadful news. Her husband is very supportive but keeps breaking down, my mum is having trouble sleeping and isn't in the best of health at the best of times. My sister is on the best pain relief and is taking sleeping tablets, she is going into hospital on 11th July, she will be losing half of the right side of her tongue and her lymph nodes. She went to her doctor because she thought that she had an mouth ulcer which wouldn't go away, after biopsy's, scans of her face and neck and full body scans over a space of 4 weeks its so hard to take it all in. I just can't imagine what she is feeling and what she is going through, but we are very close and thankfully we can talk about it, she is more worried about what people are going to think of her and what she looks like and her speech afterwards. As I live 230 miles from her I will be going up this weekend to be there for when she goes into hospital and for when she comes out, and of course to give my brother in law, and mum some support, its really hard for me I feel like I'm not doing enough, I just feel thats its so unfair that she doesn't deserve this illness, she's been a loving wife, mum , grandmother and sister. "WHY HER" xxx :-(

[dot.hawkes]

Hi catwoman, if she is half as strong and has one percent of your guts, she will be fine, I send all the very best of luck with you just for her and her family.

Dotty
xxxxx

[sleepy1]

sorry to hear the bad news i really hope it all goes well for her ........

[bigmamma]

Thats awful for you to have to bear , and is dreadful for your sister . Hope you can get through this as a family with each others strength , xx

[nutgoneflake]

It sounds like you'll be there for her every step of the way, which is probably what she needs more than anything else you could think of. Don't underestimate the strength she will be able to get purely from you being with her, or there to talk to on the end of the phone.

I wish you and your sister all the love in the world - sounds like you have plenty already though...xx

[raysparx1]

Hi cat woman, all you can do is to carry on as you are ,just be there for her, talk to her and as I have said before keep your sense of humour, this is very important, when my wife was diagnosed she kept that and I am convinced that, was a big factor in her dealing with it, the sad fact is Cancer wil,l if not already affect every family in the UK, so we better get used to it, and as for Why her ? well why not? if it wasn't her it would be somebody else, please don't take that last bit the wrong way i am not being abrupt, just trying to point out the scale of what is happening, hope all goes well for her, it is a tough road to travel,but if you all go together it will be easier, take care of her and each other, Ray xx

[Baby Jane]

I wish your sister,you and your family strength, and may the Lord Bless you.

[rugeleyboy]

hi cat woman.. first of all let me say i am sorry to hear the news!!

then please let me say............... my mother in law was diagnosed with virtualy the same problem in december. she thought she had a mouth ulcer and after months of putting it off she finaly went to the doctor who sent her for tests.......... and yes, the news was awful, my wife spent hours trawling the internet looking for answers and the whole family became 1 trying to help each other out!!

my MIL had an operation early this year and has had half of her mouth taken away and she has lost a few teeth and a bit of hair on the back of her head................... but she is still with us!! the operation was a success and at this moment in time she is living it up in portugal!!!!!!!!!!

i really do hope you everything goes ok for her and i send all my best wishes to you and your family.!!


ps...........i dont think i have typed this post to its desired affect.........the months of waiting were agony but to hear the docs say she will be ok was brilliant!!!!!

[rugeleyboy]

ps....... i should of said............ her face is a little twisted (but this will go back in time) but you could hardly tell she has had surgery!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cat woman]

Hi Dotty, my sister is a strong lass and can be stubbon as a ass at times, she is a fighter too, "verbually" she wont put up with any nonsense and will say what she thinks, she is quick with the witty cutting remarks to anyone who has upset her or her family. She is saying now that she knew that one day her tongue would get her into trouble!...... what a girl eh!...... I can be just like her in that sense, but a milder form she is quick to fire up, with me I simmer then blow like a volcano. x x x :-)

Hi Ray, I knew that you didn't mean what you said in a nasty way, I myself have gone over it in my mind no end of times, because if it was happening to me I would rather it be me than a innocent baby, if you get my gist, but it makes you wonder about the injustice of it like your wife who has gone through this dreadful condition when there is people walking this earth who do nothing but cause heart ache by killing, stealing and causing no end of damage to peoples property and livelyhoods. My sister isn't worried about going in hospital, she is frightened that she wont come round or they cut more off her tongue than they say, she is also saying that she doesn't want a tongue like a lizard, and talk like she's had a few drinks too many, plus the scarring on her chin when they cut out her lymph nodes saying that her husband might not love her anymore because she will be ugly. The whole family and her husband has reassured her this wont be the case, she will still be our dear sister, daughter, mum and wife "our Judy" and we will love her no matter what. xxx :-)

Thank you to everyone else who have taking time to read my post and have given your best wishes, it has helped me more than you ever know, its my husbands and my birthday this week 5th and the 7th but we wont be celebrating it not until my sister is somewhat on the mend.

Love to you all Vanessa xxx :-)

[cat woman]

Hi rugeleyboy, our post crossed, but thank you for your post, it has mirrored what I have been doing these last 4 weeks, I to have trawlled the web sites on tongue cancer, I have even bought Mouth Cancer pins off one of them, my sister wanted me to print off some information for her which I did yesturday and have posted it to her, but she will get all the same info off her Cancer Nurse and Speech Therapist, I so plesed that your MIL is well on the recovery road, my sister has been told that she will lose the use of her right arm for a while as her feeding tube will be inserted into her neck, also the right side of her bottom lip will droop for while afterwards. As like yourself and your family we will have months of of up and downs and we wont be at ease until we get those words we have all been waiting for "ALL CLEAR" I wish you and your family continued good health and happiness. xxx :-)

[raysparx1]

Hi cat woman, I know what you mean when you say she is scared of the physical side and her hubby not loving her cos of how she looks, this can happen but is vey unlikely, my wife had a mastectomy, and reconstructive surgery, she had most lynph nodes removed from under her arm, so now one arm is now bigger than the other with Lymphodemia (spelling), but so what, she is my wife, the lady I married, she is the same person inside, I have known her since she was at school she is now 57 we have been through so much, we both look at these things as battle scars from living, each one tells a story, the c section from our first born etc, like a living map of life, I think your sister will be fine with the love and support from all of you, it is amazing what they can do now, hope all goes well and even in the darkest hours try to smile and talk, take care, will be thinking of you all, Ray xx