men!

[firewatch]

Ok just give you warning this is gonna be a rant.
on friday night i got home from work to my husband telling me he had received a phone call from his mum to say she would be round to do some cleaning. He had said yes before asking me.
Now i have been sick for the last three/ four weeks and have been to tired to do housework, except the essentials washing up and laundry.
he is home on the weekends when i work, and does not lift a finger and then turns round to me last night and says i do not like living in a hovel!?
not only this but everything has been moved,stuff i keep within reach in the kitchen has been put high up, silk flowers in the windows, stuff where i would not have it and the best bedding on the bed. My mother in law has taken my duvet, we have two, to be cleaned, like she could have asked.
im really fed up, he knows i need limited amounts of stress and he does this.
MEN!
Yeah the flat looked lovely,but there is only so much hassling i can take.

[JeniPeni]

Sounds as if you are harrassed! It might not be done the way you like it but at least the majority of its been done and when you're feeling better you can put it back the way you like.
But yes - your husband could have done it since its his house too. BUT - I bet you wouldn't have liked the way that he tidied/cleaned it either!

[scorpious321]

I think your fella is out of order as you say you have not been very well, I think he should keep his gob shut and instead of moaning about it get of his backside and tidy up.
and your mother in law should of made sure if it was ok with you aswell to take the duvet

[taichiperson]

I'm in sympathy with you here! He could at the least have consulted you first. I don't know how well you get on with his mum - I would not like another woman coming unannounced into my home and cleaning up. It is not fair that he does not help around the place. Make it clear to him that you would appreciate some help, and advance notice if he is ever going to call his mum in again. I hate people moving my stuff about - make sure you tell him that too (you probably have already!!).
Having said that, you have a tidy place which you do appreciate - just gently lay down some ground rules for the future, make sure this does not become a regular thing. Have you been married long? Maybe he did not realise this would upset you.

[froggequene]

Your husband is clearly a Mummy's boy & needs taking in hand, if he's not prepared to get off his fat *rse & do something in the house it's not fair of him to ask/allow his mother to come round & do the cleaning and he has no right saying anything to you about it either. I'd really hate to have someone come round & go through my stuff and rearrange everything - this is the opportunity to get your husband to do something, tell him you appreciate his mother's efforts but you don't want someone else interfering in your home, you aren't children, if he wants his mother to continue to act as chief cook, bottle washer & skivvy, perhaps he should go home to her then get to re-arrange everything to your satisfaction.

I think you also need to have a word with your mother in law, express your thanks for what's she's done but it is your household & you will run it as you see fit.

[froggequene]

sorry

*then get him to re-arrange your cupboards & paraphernalia to your satisfaction

[abstibus]

Send your mother-in-law a lovely bunch of flowers and get her to come round and do it every week. Tell your husband you feel you should pay her, and get him to hand over the money.

[China Doll]

I definitely think annemollie has a point. Send the mother in law some flowers as regardless of whether you're happy with your husband or not she did come in and do this for you. Chances are that as you've been sick she probably thought she was helping by relieving you of stress, I doubt it would have occurred to her she was adding to it.

As to hubby, tell him next time it might be better if he cleaned the house rather than running to his mummy. When you're doing the cleaning at weekends, enlist his help so it becomes a combined effort so that if you're ill again he's an idea what needs doing.

[China Doll]

Let it never be said that no good deed goes unpunished.

I just think that the mother in law could be comming in stick when she maybe thought she was doing a good thing and that it is the husband who is most at fault.

[cantatrice]

Could you be just a tiny bit lazy and ungrateful?

[firewatch]

oh you aint heard the latest.
got home from work to find a cushion of mine, ok its a cushion buts it is the principal, in the bin, just because it had no cover on it. as it happened i had had to clean the cover having spilt something on it. i was being tidy!
and now a neolithic broken arrow head is found to be missing i suspect i got chucked cos it a bit of rock!
i will buy her a bunch of flowers to say thank you. im just a little fed up!

[LoftyLottie]

I would be furious - with both of them. With him for asking his mum without consulting you, and with her for rearranging things, throwing things away and 'taking over' your home. If she had just cleaned up and left things where they were I could understand it, but she had no right to inflict her style on your house.

[LoftyLottie]

And I wouldn't buy her any flowers.

I would say thank you for cleaning up but add that you would have preferred it if she had asked you first before changing things, etc.

[firewatch]

and now a rune, which some of you may know is missing, i had it on the side having done a reading the previous day (prior to mother coming to clean) i have just gone to find it and it is gone. by the lady! i swear i have had enough.
so much has gone i feel stripped of a little that is me. even my embroidery fabric has been moved to the shed whats wrong with the attic?
i really do give up!

[radiogaga]

oh i do sympathise,
my mother in law nearly enlisted the help of GYPSIES to clear out our garage of HER junk.
we moved into her old house with her moving down the road.
she was unable to hire a van due to her age and decided to take her belongings bit by bit in her very small car- daily.
we at that stage could not drive yet and couldent help out that way.
7 months on, today she arrived and said this man had knocked her door and said did she have any scrap metal she would like removed, she brought them up to my house, "as thats where all her junk is: Quote
and i felt very uneasy at the thought of bringing them into my house once id set eyes on them.
my partner came home from work and sorted this out with her thankfully.
wonder what'll be next? theirs never a dull moment when shes about!

[LoftyLottie]

I think you have to tell her in the kindest way possible that you do not appreciate her sorting through your things.

My mother in law had the awful habit of just walking in my house without knocking and then strolling around looking for me. She would walk into our bedroom quite happily!!

She would also decide to do gardening for me and pull up my wild flowers (which I am passionate about) as weeds!