Quizzes & Puzzles1 min ago
a chuckle or two for you all
14 Answers
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'
I said, 'Well, then why are you crying?' She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the
afternoon.
I said, 'Well, why are you crying?' She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.' I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying?' She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'
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THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
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I said, 'Well, then why are you crying?' She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the
afternoon.
I said, 'Well, why are you crying?' She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.' I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying?' She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Answers
1 to 14 of 14
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Hiya Yogi I bet your fur is all wet today - it has'nt stopped hissing down here in Essex.
Thanks for asking Peri - quite an eventful day - driving over to my Mum & Dads was forced to swerve - 4 black guys in a car driving on the wrong side of the road - get there my Mum is in tears she has received a letter about going for the brain scan (I tell her is an xray for her neck) - two social workers arrive and bring a student with them - I say student a mature student I think and quite large, as my Mum so kindly pointed out to her - in words of 'is that chair big enough for you dear' (did I mention my Mum is like Nan off Catherine Tate Show). Not enough chairs so my Dad was in the kitchen boiling the mince for their dinner to death.
To be fair, one of the social workers was a nurse and was being quite kind to my Mum (despite her calling the student social worker 'fat'), we have all agreed my Mum won't be going to the day centre once a week to play games, but they are going to put the wheels in motion for her to have a 'buddy' that visits and befriends her.
I just hope she is under 12 stone !! They did slip up and mention about the brain scan to Mum, despite me making funny faces and trying to pass it off as a neck xray, but to be honest the steam now coming from the kitchen where my Dad was still boiling the mince was becoming rather overwelming and even the mature student started shifting uncomfortably on the not so ample chair.
After they all went - my Mum said 'who the fcuk where they and did the fat tart break my chair' . I left my Mum & Dad eating the very dehydrated mince, drove home after sitting in traffice for an hour and have just scoffed my fish and chips.
Thanks for asking Peri - quite an eventful day - driving over to my Mum & Dads was forced to swerve - 4 black guys in a car driving on the wrong side of the road - get there my Mum is in tears she has received a letter about going for the brain scan (I tell her is an xray for her neck) - two social workers arrive and bring a student with them - I say student a mature student I think and quite large, as my Mum so kindly pointed out to her - in words of 'is that chair big enough for you dear' (did I mention my Mum is like Nan off Catherine Tate Show). Not enough chairs so my Dad was in the kitchen boiling the mince for their dinner to death.
To be fair, one of the social workers was a nurse and was being quite kind to my Mum (despite her calling the student social worker 'fat'), we have all agreed my Mum won't be going to the day centre once a week to play games, but they are going to put the wheels in motion for her to have a 'buddy' that visits and befriends her.
I just hope she is under 12 stone !! They did slip up and mention about the brain scan to Mum, despite me making funny faces and trying to pass it off as a neck xray, but to be honest the steam now coming from the kitchen where my Dad was still boiling the mince was becoming rather overwelming and even the mature student started shifting uncomfortably on the not so ample chair.
After they all went - my Mum said 'who the fcuk where they and did the fat tart break my chair' . I left my Mum & Dad eating the very dehydrated mince, drove home after sitting in traffice for an hour and have just scoffed my fish and chips.
Den - I know now exactly what gets you through - I am laughing so much at your descriptions - you really should write a sitcom it would be a lot better than most stuff on the telly today. I know it's not funny for you though but I hope you know you are doing all possible and your parents are very lucky to have you. Hopefully you can relax for the evening? You really have given me the biggest laugh all day - sorry .........
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