Daughter Visiting

[yellownana]

The in-laws moved near us approx 5 months ago. I have asked on a regular basis if they would like to spend some time with my 1 year old daughter and they have always been too busy

Her grandma recently asked me if she could take her out for the day, which i said yes to. As the time got nearer, i backed out a bit, as i didn’t feel that my daughter would be comfortable enough to spend the whole day with her, plus I have recently started a new job and wanted to spend that particular day with her myself. I suggested that i go along with them the first few times to get her used to them and they said no.

They have now kicked up a big stink saying that we don't want them to have her and that it's not fair that they don't see her a lot. My mum has her 2 days a week, whilst I’m at work, but that’s because my mum has always made the effort and knows her well.

It just seems that the in-laws want her when they feel like it, as they're never around when I’m free. My partner keeps saying to just let his mum have her to keep her from moaning, but why should I? I know he just wants a quiet life!! This is what my whole point was in the first place.

Am i being too overprotective with my daughter? I'd rather be that way though. I don't think she'd come to any harm with her grandparents, but i know she just cries when she doesn't know people. I have tried to get her to know the in-laws well, so it's not like I’ve stopped them seeing her. She sees other people all the time and she's fine with them, so it's not like i wrap her in cotton wool.

Also, when we make plans to meet up etc, she always cancels or changes them at the last minute.. Everything is a farce and I’m just sick of it now. Now I’m made to loko like the bad one…

What are your thought and suggestions?

[tigwig]

I agree with you, I would feel exactly the same. Your daughter needs to get to know them first. I would meet a few times with her before leaving her. If they are offended by this then get your partner to explain how you both feel and it wouldn't be fair leaving your daughter with people she doesn't know. They probably don't realise its not that you don't trust them but don't want her to be upset. If they aren't willing to meet you first together then they don't see her, simple as that!

[I.Don No]

IMHO tigwig has the ideal answer

[Kassee]

Cant you get your hubby on your side - maybe arrange a family day out with them. Then your husband will feel annoyed too if that back out. Get him to take your little one round to visit either with or without you regularly.

They need to understand this is about your little one and not about their needs. Your little one needs to get to know them at her pace, not theirs. Just keep giving out the invitations and popping in to see them and get hubby on board too.