How To Put The Wind Up Janet....

[gness]

Janet, John and co have a lovely meal in Pausa.....Janet is mellow and happy....

They return to the apartment and John shouts.....

Jeez! Janet...your neck is covered in ticks!

Janet looks in a mirror....remember Janet has poor eyesight and has had half a bottle of red.....her neck is a ring of black dots.....

See Janet faint daintily onto the bed...

Get the matches....shouts P....we need to burn their bums!

See Janet leap off the bed......they're not setting fire to tick's bums on Janets neck! Janet remembers their fixation with fire.....and sees the look of excitement in their eyes....

S fetches the tweezers......I'll pick them off she says.......catch them by the bum and twist....just leaves the head in Janet's neck......

See Janet squirm........

S picks off the first tick and discovers.........it's half a bead from the necklace Janet is wearing......the necklace she thought had woven beads in it......woven?!!!

They were halved and stuck on with super glue.....yeah....not so super...that is now having to be scrubbed off Janet's neck...... :-(

[Barmaid]

//See Janet faint daintily//. I did hear a rumble and thought it was a minor earthquake.

*runs and hides*

[Barmaid]

***...

*emails agent quickly, realises John knows my address......"

[gness]

Oi! I'll have you know that in my theatrical days I perfected the limp wrist to the brow dainty faint......!

[Barmaid]

*sits on hands*

[gness]

Too late......John is on the floor revealing Barmaid's address through gritted teeth........ :-)

[Barmaid]

//John is on the floor....//

My work here is done ;)

[gness]

Thank you, Barmaid........evening ending nicely.... ;-)

[sunny-dave]

Does anyone know a good personal injuries lawyer ... ?

[Barmaid]

Well..........

[sunny-dave]

"Have you had an accident with a small Irish person recently?"

" Ring 0800-PREDICTABLE and we'll say 'I did warn you' ... "

[Barmaid]

Personally, I think you are *** on the basis of contributary negligence (unless PP or Buenchico corrects me).

[gness]

Pah!.....I don't think even Buenchico and PP would give him a leg to stand on between them!... :-)

[anneasquith]

"" half a bottle of wine"" aye right ? :-)

[gness]

Of course, Anne....any more and I wouldn't have given a hoot about the "ticks"...and I'm sticking to that!...;-)

[anneasquith]

Any news on the Irish red swollen weeping leg ?

[gness]

The bad bite began to heal, Anne...after advice and treatment from a doctor.....then a much worse one arrived on the same leg.....followed by four more not so bad ones.....

Huge weeping blisters that I've been popping with my embroidery needle but they're just returning....

God knows why I've suddenly started to react like this.....but it seems to be quite common here.....different type of beastie I suppose.....six bites so far..... ;-(

[anneasquith]

Infected ?

[gness]

Yes.....but I have antibiotics and antihistamines.....and wine......x

[anneasquith]

You got oral antibiotics? Good.

[gness]

Was hoping to knock it on the head with the creams but the second bite was a lulu......so I gave in.....
Amazing what these little beasts can do....and you don't see or feel them at the time.....x