Curious - not rude!!

[goldheart]

I read this book last year by Nancy Friday (cant remember the title) but it was a collection of fantasies women have when they masturbate, which the author had studied and collated.  I was quite astounded by the varieties and even better was the summary given that no matter who rude/weird/perverted/boring... they were, it was only a fantasy etc and you shouldnt feel bad or guilty about - to which I often have in the past, and my friends when asked.

So, I was going to ask the ladies what their fantasis were - if they weren't too shy, but I dont know if this is the right forum and is too rude a question for this website?

[nicola_red]

You know what, I don't think I could really answer that on this site.  I've read Nancy Friday's books too ('Women On Top' etc) and they're really good, but I'm sure you'll agree that almost everything in it wouldn't be suitable to be reproduced here!

[kazzee69]

I don't think I could say either to be honest! But I wouldn't feel guilty about a fantasy, its harmless fun.. its not cheating..!

[goldheart]

Yeah your prob. right, i have told boyfriends in the past that its always of them and what they're doing to me -  sometimes they are very naiive!!

[Gilli]

I've read Nancy Friday - and similar collations and don't consider myself to be a prude, but confess to being sceptical when us "ladies" are asked to share our fantasies on an effectively general knowledge public site. Call me suspicious, but are you sure this isn't a gratuitous request ? ...... after all, I bet our fantasies are just as varied/bizarre/peculiar/ordinary/tame/wild/attractive/repugnant/funny/boring (choose your own adjective - this is a very subjective topic) as the many listed by Nancy Friday et al.

Remember this site is visited by all ages, including, most importantly in this case, kids, and no way should they be exposed to some of the more - shall we say - imaginative fantasies you are probably hoping to read.

Check out Amazon if you're really stuck for "assistive" material. Better still, do a web search, but I for one won't be "revealing all" for the satisfaction of a stranger.

[nicola_red]

Gilli, I would normally agree with you but you must note that goldheart is female herself so I suspect that's probably not the case.

[Gilli]

True - I admit I had made the assumption that godheart was female ......

.... but,

.... still stand by what I said before. After all us "ladies" aren't automatically immune to seeking out the odd bit of titillating literature on occasion are we ?

[goldheart]

Funnily enough I hadnt really taken into account that kids use this website especially seeing some of the questions that pass through the body and soul section! I agree with you in principal, however AnswerBank has the responsibility for content and they allowed the question to be asked... so Im not really that bothered, maybe you should be pointing it out to them?

I apologise if I came across wrong regarding why I wanted to know what other women fantasise about but as this is an anonymous website I thought it wouldnt be that bad!!

Perhaps I shouldve re-phrased the question to ask if anyone has read the book and can anyone identify with some of the stuff they read - as sometimes I thought I was the only one who had certain thoughts!!

However, thanks for the suggestion that I need assistive material Gilli but I dont need any, Amazon dont really do what I like!!  : )

[Gilli]

Okay goldheart - I'm not one to hold a grudge, so, in answer to your second question, then yes, I did identify with some of the Nancy Friday subjects (and don't mind admitting that) though I'm not going to say which ones !

In all seriousness, I'm of the opinion that what goes on in someone's head is nothing to be "ashamed" of, unless, those thoughts were revealed inappropriately and/or actually put into practice where they would distress someone else. I think for years, women in particular were "supposed" not to have "dirty" minds at all and therefore anyone who did (and that's probably a very large majority) was also likely to feel guilty about it, which is clearly ridiculous.

[RevShirls]

I bought Nancy Friday's book "My Secret Garden - Women's Sexual Fantasies" in the 1980s and still have it somewhere on my bookshelf. I was a student at the time and most of my female friends had this book. It was amazing how many male pals used to borrow this book but although they thought it would provide erotic stimulus a few of them said that it made them a bit insecure (wondering if their partner was fantasising about someone else when they were having sex). It's a good, honest book and gives an assurance that sexual fantasy is natural.

One time (quite a number of years ago) I was on a TV programme giving a review (from the perspective of a female minister) of Madonna's book "Sex". I made a comment that the book was really based on sexual fantasy. I then said: "All women fantasise..... except for my mother". Later my mum nearly killed me and then said: "I do fantasise... I fantasise about owning a nice coffee shop!" :) :)

By the way, the sequel to "My Secret Garden" is "Forbidden Flowers: More Women's Sexual Fantasies". I haven't read this (yet).

[goldheart]

I think I will have to give the book a whirl. Thanks!

[Emily Ball]

I'm with Gilli on this one. My 11 year old granddaughter has used this site and I wouldn't want her to be coming across graphic descriptions of sexual fantasies. I don't believe such questions have a place on this website, even if the AB Ed were to allow them. Although I feel pretty sure the great majority of those who subscribe to threads such as these are genuine(and I include goldheart in them) it's as well to bear in mind that we are all anonymous and can easily pretend to be something we're not, whether it's age or gender . 

[depressedmgl]

If my wife is anything to go by, then it is probably shoes!

What is it with women and shoes?