Good evening and welcome to AB's Mad Over Fifties Club. Igor is on hand for the concealment of all cloaks, outer garments and broomsticks (please note aforementioned items are left at owners risk, we cannot guarantee the safe return of items left in Igor's care.)
As we maintain the Winter Olympics theme of the past few weeks, our Tailcock for tonight will be the "Icy Curl" (I wonder why.....?)
On our hot plate tonight we offer Steak and Ale pie with creamy mash, and peas. As always we have a selection of horses doovers, canopies and volly vonts, and on the pudding trolley Lemon and Sultana steamed sponge and custard (cream is also available)
The Minstrels are warming up in the Gallery (as usual) practising their Madrigals and toccattas, if you happen to be a music lover I'd advise against visiting the Music room this evening, the local hairy beardies folk singing group has been booked (not by me) and they will be performing traditional folk songs in there (no doubt wearing aran pullovers and one hand clasped firmly over one ear) In the ballroom we have DJ Funky Freddie for those members wishing to dance ............. (who booked these guys?)
Again I must remind members that the Bungee is not in operation until the spring and the hot tub has been relocated down to the dungeons by the indoor swimming pool. (mini bar too) The ice rink is still available for use as is the ski slope and the "sliding" track thingy - loads of trays for sliding too!
The library is fully stocked, and a lovely fire burns in the hearth, we also have all the latest magazines and periodicals for members use too, in fact I understand that we have the latest edition of "Mechanics for Lady Embroiderers" hot off the press.... there is a nice fire in the snug too for members wishing a quieter evening, the games room is primed and ready for those wishing to play. Be aware that strip tiddlywinks is strictly forbidden.
Anyone wishing to go for a wander in the conservatory is reminded not to feed the triffid.
Apologies have been received from Daisynonna who will not be in attendance this evening (Igor is devastated!) due to receiving a better offer but she has sent her spare broom Ernie with an offering for the rofl in the shape of and LP by the Dutch College Swing Band ............. mmm yeess!
Speaking of the rofl, I have to offer
2 door handles (broken)
Box of felt tip pens (all dry)
Pair of speed skates (thank you Elise, you wuz robbed!!!)
Year's subscription to Cow Puncher's Weekly
Would members please note anyone wishing to stay overnight in the guest suites in the West Wing should inform Belle ahead of time so that the suites can be prepared
Madame, did you have to mention that I sometimes forget where I have concealed the outer garments? At my age it is sometimes hard to remember where I put things
Evening your nungateship, I hear that Daisy's No 1 broom has taken her on a tour of Bournemouth !, hope the sun is out.
My usual bucket please, Igor.
For the riffle I have two spare springs suitable for repairing door handles, one tin of very expensive carnuba car wax almost empty, about enough left to wax a rear bumper, and one bottle of distilled water ( I was bloody conned, I thought it was a bottle of moonshine ).