For Natalie + Chuck, and all who can laugh at themselves- no offence intended!

[Bathsheba]

Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline:

If you are obsessive compulsive please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co dependant please get someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities please press 12345 + 6.
If you are paranoid - we know who you are and where you live and we'll be watching you...
If you are delusional please wait and we'll transfer you to the mothership.
If you are schizophrenic wait for the little voice inside your head to tell you the number you want.
If you are depressive - no one cares anyway.
If your dyslexic press wpmauht1.
If you suffer from a nervous disposition fiddle with all the keys until you hear the bleep.
If you have a short term memory loss - you've been here before...
If you suffer low self esteem were all too busy and no one cares
......and if you have abandonment issues please note we've all gone home and you should wait with the low self esteem people.
Thank you for calling... **BEEP**

[petal54]

sorwy,what was that 2mg line again*

[ChuckFickens]

LOL I'd be pressing wpmauht1. :)

Another similar one that I Liked was

Hello thank you for calling the incontinence help line, can you hold please.

[natalie_1982]

LMAO

I like it :-D

Which one are you bathsheba? :-)

[MsEVP]

Bath, I can`t see a button for me!

[Bathsheba]

All of em, apart from dyslexic- that's my husband's problem! x

[Bathsheba]

Aaw shame, EVP! That's because you're unique! Yay!! xx