Guitar Players

[marval]

For all guitar players, worried about your fingers hurting? Stop fretting.

I took my car to auction yesterday. It didn’t buy anything though.

I saw a poster that said, ‘Do you want help giving up smoking? Ask Your Doctor!’ So I made an appointment and asked him. He said, “Thanks, but I don’t smoke.”

The man who came up with estimation has died. His funeral is due to take place round about Wednesday next week.

An octopus tried robbing a bank this morning. It didn’t have a gun, but was well armed.

My friends and I have been going to Amsterdam for years now and taking loads of pot. There will be no ceramics left soon.

I called in the pub for a nice, crisp pint after work today. It made a pleasant change from eating them out of a packet.

I feel sorry for my partner after I did a series of experiments on him which turned him invisible. You have got to feel for him.

As the head ranger on the game farm, I had to tell the boss that the wildebeest were causing havoc. “What’s the matter?” he asked. “Bad gnus” I replied.

I bought one of those leak detectors from B&Q. But all I keep finding is carrots and potatoes.