Can boys and girls REALLY just be friends?!!

[Headless Rat]

Been best friends with a bloke for last 2years.started to realise i fancy him a year ago.all our friends think we fancy eachother and have been waiting for us to get together!i moved away from that town 3 months ago (career move) and now only see him when there's a special occasion on.he eventually made a move 2months ago. he kissed me &said that it had taken him so long because he was afraid that he wasn't good enough for me.i had to go back to work the next day.he rang me every week for the next 4 weeks and texted quite regularly-VERY unusual for him!met him a month later for 3 days.we kissed again each night.all was fine.he started acting all couply which kind of scared me as i like to take things very slowly!met him again 2 weeks later and didnt kiss.Another 2 weeks later my pals,including him,came to visit me.we went out & he told me that 1)things were moving too fast for him 2)we're better off as friends& 3) he had never seen me as anything more than friend!!!can this REALY be true?do blokes really kiss their best friend after 2 years of flirting, act all couply & then say that they had never seen them as anything more than a friend??I'm not that upset about it, more just puzzled about the "never having fancied me" remark!I've been told I'm goodlooking and I used always catch him looking at me when he thought I wasn't looking!sorry if thats terribly long winded!!

[littlemissx]

i think he does like you but is scared that he will lose a friendship.

[ICEMANSAV]

I think he has realised that you may not be all that interested and has decided to get in there first to save face

[I_Tried]

Headless Rat,

The best thing you can do is stop questioning yourself and just go out and get laid ffs woman its easy lmao xxx

Mr. T "a crazy fool"

[Headless Rat]

im not questioning myself!!

i suppose what im trying to ask is, can a guy talk in the girls ear, text her needlessly when hes on a night out with the lads, look decidedly uncomfortable when her other male friends hug her etc, want to go for drives alone with her and STILL not fancy her??!!

[littlemissx]

no i dont think so x

[sarah*]

hey

i no exactly what you mean girl, im going through the same thing

got a guy that i get along with really good, and we flirt loads at work, this lasted for a whole year and everyone kept saynig we both fancied each other, i didnt no if i liked him like that or not, and how he felt bout it, recently he sed he liked me in a txt msg and i sed the same to him, but when we c each other now and its only been 3 or 4 times that i have seen him in the last 2 weeks, its not the same. he acts different, very distance and im beginining to think i didnt fancy him at all but just wanted to be mates all along and that maybe he is thinking the same

dont worry girl im really confused as well especially when the guy acts like he really likes you for ages and stares at you and compliments you, and becomes really jealous when other guys talk to you but i dont understand it, all i have decided to do now is just stay friends, im trying to distance myself from him even though i really like him and would give anything to go out with him, but if he doesnt no how to behave then i really dont no but ill tell ya somethimg that guy does fancy you, but y he was acting like that is anybodys guess. think we need a man to tell us coz they really no how to play with our heads lol

take care babs and dont try to keep thinking bout this guy, stay friends if ya want or just try and find some1 else x x x

[Headless Rat]

Aw!thanks Sarah!its a royal pain in the ass isn't it?and they think women are bad!!!

yea, definitely think we need a male perspective on this one!!

Don't think this boy is out to mess with my head as he is the epitome of a gentleman and has told me that im his best friend.still, if he acts as he has done for the last 2yrs with me the next time we meet up, i think there will be serious words said as i think he would be messing with my head!

Reckon if the your guy has distanced himself from you since he that text message then its a SURE sign that he likes you.he may just be a bit unsure of what to do next....wouldnt you be if you had made the first move?(even though his advances were reciprocated by you)

I reckon you should really try to get back to the way you were, act as if nothing happened and carry on flirting.that'll make him realise that there's nothing to be scared of if he makes a move again because he didnt lose the friendship after having made a move...?

[jgs]

I think Icemansav is spot-on. It doesn't sound as though you responded to his advances so he tries to be all "well i didn't fancy you anyway"...but he probably still does.

[sarah*]

lol r u sure were not talking bout the same lad here lol

mine told me i was his best friend and is a gentlman aswell and even if he distances himself away from me im still gonna be there for him no matter what and still be mates with him until he decides what to do.

that guy must like you and maybe you should try the same, i think you have helped me with your question but we do need a mans point of view,

he txt me the other day just to c wat i was up to but at the end of the msg he put love you lol xxx

the next day though when i saw him he acted like nothing has happened and i really am so confused

believe me even the gentliest gentlemann can play with your head and get you confused

good luck with everything

its nice to no im not the only girl out there who cant work these gentlemans out lol

c ya

[Jay70]

Yes boy's and girlscan be just friends. From what you've written it sounds like you don't fancy him but like him as a friend which is fine. But If this is true then you must let him know this so he's not living on false hopes and can move on in terms of finding a partner. I do believe he does fancy you but maybe felt bad about making a move and is worried about loosing you as a friend. This is probably ehy he left it so long before making a move in the first place - it was probably the last thing he wanted to happen and has been worried about wether to make a move or not for ages. But from what you've written it sounds like your more upset about him now saying he doesn't fancy you. If you are a true friend you will put him in the picture and not just play along to enable yourself to get attention. Lets face it everyone likes someone finding them attractive but you shouldn't play with someones emotions to make yourself feel better. I applogize now if this is not the case but it is a job to tell from just having you're post to go on and I'm giving you a male's point of view which is what you wanted. Good luck.

[Headless Rat]

Jay, im pretty sure he knows i like him because the first night we were together i told him id liked him for ages!!i reckon i scared him off with my enthusiasm rather than lack of!!!haha!the thing is though that ive thought for ages that liked me and then he turns around and says "it doesnt feel right & i've never thought of you as more than a friend". i understand if he doesnt want to be with me but it just turns everything ive thought for the last year completely upside down.For future reference, how will i ever know if someone fancies me or just wants to stay friends when they act like that??!! MEN!!

[Tock389]

I'm in a similar situation. I met a stunning girl (she's a PE teacher) in May through friends. However, as she is half German, she is very forthright, and said straight out she didn't fancy me, but it is good to meet new friends. I took this on the chin, was gutted at the time, but just said it was better to have her in my life, than not at all. Since then, she has started going out with someone, which I was fine about. However, since August, I have started running and dieting (for my own good, not hers), and have lost a stone and a half- I wasn't a real fatty before, but am now at my ideal weight. Anyway, I saw this girl for the first time since getting fit two weeks ago, and her body language towards me has changed so much! She's very tactile and although she's still seeing someone, there is definitely something there.

But, I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I know that feelings can change. I'm going to just keep things as friends!

[Banjoman]

ICEMANSAV is spot on.

[sarah*]

hey headless rat

hope you read this today

yeaterday i went work and i thought of what was said in here, so i told the guy everything, how i felt, that i thought he was acting distance and weird with me

and guess what everything was fine he sed he didnt realise he was acting differently and sed he still loved me no matter what even if i just wanted to b mates he would still talk to me

so there you go to get your answer just talk to him and communication is the best way of finding everything out. tell him what you feel and see what happens but this guy fancies you

just tell him coz there is one thing that ive learnt, girls get confused but men just dont have a clue.

hope this helps

[Headless Rat]

hey sarah!thats so cool!delighted you had the balls to confront the situation and it all worked out!!deadly!

wont see my guy for another month-till Christmas anyway.reckon ill prob just leave things as it would never work with the distance and everything!and because he said he'd never fancied me, then that's what i HAVE to believe :( !ah well!

the only thing i find strange is that after we first kissed he said it had taken him so long to kiss me because he thought he wasnt good enough for me.now, to me, that doesnt sound like something i'd say to someone who i'd never thought about in THAT kind of a way......

[sarah*]

hey babs

bless ya

he does like ya thats for sure but its up to you how you feel if ya wanna stay mates just stay mates and if he likes you enough it will show.

i suggest that you should stay mates with this guy and carry on having fun flirtin with him, he will then no that your gonna be there for him no matter what. i think you like him more then a mate because otherwise you wouldnt have asked about him on here, so carry on staying mate, its not worth it to fall out with him and things will turn out ok

in the mean time if you find someone else then good for you atleast you will have a best mate and a bf lol

hope everything turns out good and that i make sense on here coz ive just read it all through and it doesnt make no sense to me lol

and that kiss meant everything to him like it probably did to you lol he is just as confused as you but you take the lead and get it all straight

thats what i told my guy, i sed to him look if you dont wanna talk to me anymore then fine, just tell me now lol anyway take care babs x x