okay this is a long one

[ms.emotional]

my ex "james" and i broke up about 10 months ago and i still think about him everyday. i've been trying to get over him,going out on the bar scene hanging out with friends etc...i finally met someone that i was interested in "bob" (reminds me alot of "james")...we met at a bar he ended up asking me my number...we've hung out, gone out to eat, etc. Well one thing leads to another and we "did the deed" (like 4 times now) all of a sudden he won't return my calls, he doesn't stop by anymore and totally disregards me when i see him anywhere...just last week he was doing the whole PDA at our fav local pool hall (something "bob" NEVER does)...i called his bf "eric" to ask him what the deal was and he said he had no idea but that "bob" was afraid of the age difference and to cut "bob" some slack cause he 11 months ago broke up with the girl he had been with for 5 years...Now though "eric" and i are hanging out and "bob" saw us and didn't say a word to either of us... i am not interested in "eric" like that in anyway... and i think "bob" thinks something else, cause yesterday at their game i went their to see "eric" play and thats what i used to do when i was hanging out with "bob"...after the game "bob" & "eric" go out and "eric" was texting me all these things last night while they were together about wanting to "hook-up" with me, i tried putting it as nice as possible that i wasn't interested in him but that i was still interested in "bob" but i don't think he got the picture..somebody please tell me what you think. I am lost & hurt. I don't know what I have done wrong but i feel like a fool. i have re-read this thing like 10x..i am pathetic...anyways, do i take it as a lesson learned and leave the whole situation? do i stop talking to "eric"? do i randomly call "bob" and explain why i am REALLY hanging out with "eric"?

[zara 4]

I don't think really that you owe "bob" any explanation at all he was the one who cut you off i'd say live your life for yourself not wait around for someone who can't see whats staring them in the face.Does that make any sense?

[ms.emotional]

yeah it does....but now should i stop hanging out with "eric" because he'* ******* on me now....i have fun hanging out with him but his remarks and mannerisms towards me are....how shall i put it "shady"..?.. i don't want him to expect anything from me....

[laurence2]

i feel that bob has used you and now eric is trying it on.

You do seem vulnerable with your ex ''james'' still in your mind on a daily basis, and i feel until you come to terms with your split with james you are not ready for another relationship.

Your even comparing bob to james ?

I hate to say this but bob is aware that eric is hitting on you in my view, and your being used.

Zara is right in her post, you owe no one an explanation, try to move on minus these two or i can see you getting hurt again.

Good luck

[Ward-Minter]

I would call Bob and tell him he has given you a nasty STD. Then move on.

P.S Are you a fit bird?

[DMA]

ms emotional - we blokes are all b*stards. Move on - find someone who isnt full of patter - coz if they give you the patter they give all women it. Ive seen mates give birds all the charm and use them and its not nice to see.I personally have no patter. Women like me for my genuinness and obviously my good looks. They dont feel used even after one nite stands as its what they wanted and expected. This bloke (and now his mate) seem like they are trying to string you along for sex. Dont fall for it.

[DMA]

I dont know what Im doing on here givin advice - Im back off to the football section

[ms.emotional]

You all want to know the ironic thing about this... "eric" just called as I was reading all the responses and straight out asked me if I would ever do anything with him. I straight out hung up on him..I feel so used. To laurence2: You say you think "bob" is aware of it, if he was aware of it why wouldn't he stop it? bob broke up with his previous girlfriend because she cheated on him with one of his other best friends...or do you think he just figures it's already happened....? and thats why I am getting the cold shoulder/brush off To Ward Minter: lol...thats too grimmy for me, I am a bit too mature for that as funny as it would be...I know i am a "fit bird" To DMA: its always nice hearing from the male point of view...when the problem I have is with the male gender. Don't you guys think thats dirty though like why would you even want to get with a girl thats been with your best friend? I could never go with a guy that I knowingly knew slept with one of my best friends.

Thank you all for your help on this!!!!

[DMA]

Bob and Eric are probably "pulling buddies" .They go on the beer together on the hunt for women who they see as prey. You will suss who this sort of bloke is but will still probably fall for them anyway only to get hurt.

A piece of advice I think wud be not for you to lay in wait or the predator but for you to bide your time a bit and see someone YOU like the look of (whose face you feel you can trust at first site).YOU could strike up a conversation with them rather than wait for the predatory type to see you and go in for the kill.

[laurence2]

ms emotional, Dma hit the nail on the head with the drinking ''buddies'' comment.

It seems wonderful bob is not so wonderful, She done this/she done that & bob was innocent throughout.So poor old bob gets shafted {excuse the pun} by his girlfriend and 5 months later he does the dirty on you.

Like i said earlier the ''Likely lads'' are out on the pull and you was in the wrong place at the wrong time, Eric rang you out the blue and ask you straight out if your up for it.You rightly hung up and you should feel used as thats what their doing to you.

They have no respect for you or women in general so don't beat yourself up to much, take it as another learning curb in life and move on

[Ward-Minter]

well if you are fit, you have just met the ward-meister

[zara 4]

You can be quite sweet really i bet cant you DMA but you're right some men probably are b*******s,but thats probably because they were at the back of the queue when brains and manners were handed out.I'm sure there are some really nice guys exist out there......somewhere...!