wanting children and crying - is this normal

[CiderMonkey]

i am 28 and moved in with my boyfriend at the start of the year. Since we got together 5 years ago we have talked about having children in the future - it's something we both want. We've been thinking about it more and more, but lots of times when I think about it i get really tearful. Is this normal??

Is it me just being emotional beccause it's something I really want? Has this happened to other people?
I don't know when we will start to try for kids - I think we're both scared as it's succh a big thing. But then i know people say that nobody is EVER ready!! :-)

[andy-hughes]

I think your reaction is perfectly normal.

Motherhood is a highly personal experience, linked very strongly to both physical and emotional triggers, so tears when thinking about it are nothing to be concerned over.

You're right no-one is ever 'ready', but it is a big commitment, and does require proper thought and discussion.

Trust me, parenthood is like hang gliding, it's far scarier thinking and talking about it, and evven watching other people do it, than it is when you try it for yourself!

[larkin]

CiderMonkey.
I can remember standing in the kitchen at our last house and bursting into tears, saying to my hubby "I just want to be someone's mummy !" It came from nowhere and I didn't have my first child until I was 35, although I know that it was something I really wanted and tried for for years .
Good luck in whatever you decide and whatever happens.
There is never a right or wrong time ( unless you are 12 or something, oviously!) Once you have children, you will never want to be without them. As andy says, it is a huge scary committment but the best feeling in the world !

[CiderMonkey]

thanks for your answers. I think I just wanted to know I wasn't the only one!

Even watching other children can set me off these days and I'm getting tearful writing this!! I hope I don't get worse when I actually do get prgnant.

[andy-hughes]

Just think, you'll have gorgeous hair and nails, a new wardrobe, be able to have a glass for 'medicinal purposes', have legitimate mood swings every three minutes, and make him find a petrol station that sells chocolate at 3.00 a.m.!

[pingu748]

Guy here ... when my 1st wife decided she didnt love me anymore I cried on and off for weeks ... while I loved her totally I was even more upset at the prospect of having to wait longer to become a dad ... we had just started trying and it was something I wanted very badly ... just to be a dad ... PS ... now got an 8 week old boy called Leo ... hard work, took another 4 years of waiting, knackered and got a wife with PND ... but it is so worth while ... every minute (even if it doesnt feel like it at the time sometimes) ...

[wilson83]

Cidermonkey, I am in the exactly the same position as you at the moment. I will cry and get very down in the dumps. All my friends have had children now, and so I am everyones aunty and a godmother to one, but it never makes up for that feeling of wanting to create something of your own with someone you love. My husband and I have been married just over a year, he is 26 and I am 23(in November) so we are still young. We can afford to have a baby, but he isn't so set on the idea yet. We both want a bigger house and better jobs so we can really enjoy and buy the best things for the baby when it arrives. I am just focusing on saving up for it as much as possible and hoping that next year will my big year! If you ever want to chat instead of getting down in the dumps, I am here! Good luck. P.s..have you started trying for a baby? does your partner not want one?

[CiderMonkey]

wilson83. thanks for the answer. My partner wants kids as much as I do but we haven't started trying yet as I think we're both scared. I guess we'll have to take the plunge at some point.
I don't get down in the dumps because i know we both want it and it will (hopefully) happen one day. I just seem to not be able to help myse;f from crying, just because I am so emotional!

[wilson83]

Hi Cidermonkey,

You sound ready to me, so I would take the plunge if you are both sure it is what you want. Why wait? Go for it Girl! Let us know how it goes.